Feel Like a Lady, Deal Like A Man: Tips & Secrets on Everything from: Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men , (via my old site’s server where some sample chapters are) I explain it in the very last chapter – Gem 21 which, by the time my readers have read the book (thoroughly), down to that chapter, they are “ready” for it (what I talk about in Gem 21: “The Secret To Him Not Cheating On You & Making it Last Happily Ever After”).
“Ready” meaning: by that time (after having read the Introduction through Gem 18), you can fully understand what I am about to say (about this form of self respectable form of “open relationship”). How so? Because…when I wrote that book (as you can tell from each chapter’s title), I don’t tell women about ‘how to capture/get a man” until somewhere around Gem 19-21. And (in my opinion) if any book written to women ever started in advising me about men without first, showing me chapters on self work/doing the female work with self, I would be leery. We woman have way too much work on ourselves and with other women and men (platonically speaking) to go over before we should be studying how to encompass and keep a man (confidently and securely).
One of the MAIN truths, light, and ways to happiness for the heterosexual woman is getting the love she wants (in every way) from a man. When a woman is happily loved and in love, nothing can touch her…I mean NOTHING. Her world around her is sheer PERFECTION. But, before that, a woman has to be TRULY whole and be able to handle this world of men, games and dames. She has to have mastered everything else outside of “being a good woman to a good man” and all the things that come with relationship/a committed relationship. Once a woman has mastered all the outside and surrounding things, securing (or even leaving a man who isn’t giving her the love she knows she deserves) is as simple as black and white and 1, 2,3. There is NO book in the WORLD that can teach a woman how to get and keep a man until she has mastered how to deal with other women, other men, and everything ELSE outside that too, eventually surrounds the glass house of a relationship/committed relationship (hence, the subtitle of my book as shown below).
We have things to work out like: women with other women (as friends), women and how they relate to/with men (and out of respect for other women while in the company of men), various aspects of male-female situations, men’s issues (excluding and with women). We can’t skip those areas when getting to the heart, mind, soul and bottom of men. That’s why I spend so many chapters (1-18) on that because men aren’t that tough nuts to crack after that. That’s why it only took two chapters to get down to (explaining) how to capturing them, getting and keeping them (intimately and beyond).
A full book trying to teach a woman how to get and keep a man without delving into all necessaries about men, and situations surrounding that man and lessons she needs to revisit and know about within herself and those surrounding situations is USELESS as, true happiness doesn’t necessarily start with having/being with/kept by “the man.”
Here goes some except pulls (not full chaps) from the self-respectable+ MUTUALLY beneficial way to an “open relationship”—because after all…if you can ‘let’ a man outside the relationship to get it in…you can find way of getting it in while keeping his mind and body RIGHT AT HOME…
FEEL LIKE A LADY. DEAL LIKE A MAN: Tips & Secrets on Everything from Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men
Gem 21: “The Secret To Him Not Cheating On You & Making it Last Happily Ever After”
THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND CHEATING & HOW TO REVERSE IT
Before I can show you how to reverse (on him) the psychology of cheating, we need to talk for a second. Know this:
Although cheating is a deviation of one’s emotional and/or physical self from the person with which they are mutually committed (with the exception of a man feeling emasculated to any particular degree) contrary to belief and although it does happen; when a man cheats, it is rarely to fulfill an emotional need. It is almost always purely physical and ignited by passion of some kind.
Passion can be a good and a bad thing.
Good-when burning in a committed relationship, but bad when fueled because of the secrecy involved in cheating + the emotion (anger, upset) once discovered.
The covert and secrecy involved in cheating is “motivating”…Motivation is passion.
Anger and upset (once cheating is discovered), is “stimulating”…Stimulation is passion.
In order to remove the passion from cheating, you have to do a kind of reverse psychology on it by:
- refraining from fervent upset and emotional response to it
- uncovering and remove the secrecy behind it
- summoning the cheating desires and actions
- sequestering the cheating desires and actions
- become the object of those desires and actions
…that way, the secrecy [and therefore the passion] from cheating is stolen back then put back into the relationship to which it is committed (and belongs).
PASSION IS A DEVILS’ ADVOCATE THAT PLAYS BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE OF CHEATING AS WELL AS FAITHFULNESS
Later in the chapter (and throughout), you will see me stress the importance of “passion” being a part of a (committed) relationship.
You have to look at passion like a devil’s advocate: it plays both sides of the fence:
- Pleasure for cheats/cheating
as well as:
- The key ingredient for ever-lasting love in committed relationships
I will explain.
Let’s face it, men do cheat on women whom they adore, love, desire, and have an active sex-life with. (As you will find soon into the chapter) they mainly cheat because
