went down:
This week the lovely man left for America, so in a frankly pitiful attempt to take my mind/heart/soul off of him I went back to Tinder, which kind of felt like taking a job in Sports Direct when you used to manage a football club.
So my first foray back in to dating and it lasts a total of 32 minutes and ends with the most alarming text message I’ve ever received.
We meet at the tube station after he declined my suggestion to meet at a pub, and he asks if we can go for a coffee as he’s not drinking.
“Sure” I say, “there’s a lovely independent coffee place over the road.”
“Nah, there’s a Costa just here. Saves crossing” he replied.
Like seriously? I put on eyeliner for this and now I’m in a Costa bloody Coffee.
After 25 minutes of ‘normal’ conversation we have the following exchange:
Him: “Have you had dinner yet?”
Me: “No I came straight from work.”
Him: “What would you say if I offered to cook you dinner?”
Me: “Ermmm…right now?
Him: “I only ask because I’ve got an Ocado delivery coming tonight.”
Me: “I’d have to say no. I couldn’t possibly go back to the home of someone I’ve literally just met, sorry.”
Him (talking over me): “lots of nice fresh vegetables and good fish.”
Him: “OK well I’d better go. Need to be home for the delivery.”
Me:….
Hate having to send these messages and always worry I'll sound mean/like a twat #dating #singlelife #datingadvice pic.twitter.com/wtlNCIX6Ep
— LaurenNotLozza (@LaurenNotLozza) November 11, 2015
@Crouchi agghhh pic.twitter.com/LXQm7dI8xj
— LaurenNotLozza (@LaurenNotLozza) November 11, 2015
@probablygeorge @LaceyWaters pic.twitter.com/kKV1nZMfAM
— LaurenNotLozza (@LaurenNotLozza) November 11, 2015
I might offer to donate £3 for the coffee to a charity of his choice as a chance for him to regain some humanity pic.twitter.com/0sWC28O4m2
— LaurenNotLozza (@LaurenNotLozza) November 11, 2015
@SadiaOfficial @MyPlaceOrYours_ @joshbythesea @probablygeorge @AhhGeeProd @LaceyWaters @MetroUK @AVagabond_ did it pic.twitter.com/L2O94IfO9x
— LaurenNotLozza (@LaurenNotLozza) November 12, 2015
@SadiaOfficial @MyPlaceOrYours_ @joshbythesea @probablygeorge @AhhGeeProd @LaceyWaters @MetroUK @AVagabond_ Oh GOD pic.twitter.com/u3RkcDxfb3
— LaurenNotLozza (@LaurenNotLozza) November 12, 2015
What can we (as men or women) do to avoid this kind of thing (and expectation-that causes temperatures to rise and fear in eyes should we bump into such types once unsuspecting day?)
My number one suggestion for dates with
