either never return to you (because he knows he can but punishing you for ignoring him as, he knows it means more to you than him) or he’ll return to you and play you on that default tier (never taking you higher).
Men Are Hunters. Let Him Hunt. That’s Where The Delicacy Is For Him
SIDENOTE: In the dating game/while single. Don’t be so desperate or impatient that you jump to the excuse (or even buy it coming from a man: ‘I like when women pursue me’). Men themselves don’t even understand why their nature v. nuture respond and romance different things. That’s not to say he won’t treat you right if you pursued, but you rob him of a major part of “romance” in a man’s head that they need (to marinate themselves for you. It turns them up and on and they often revisit that moment when he conquered YOU).
Furthermore, if a man is too timid to step to an inviting woman, how does he handle life? Life got more lions and tigers and bears than stepping to a woman-the delicate flower that she is by comparison.
Granted, men collect a lot of rejection and are often times (on any given day) 5x bitten 10x shy. But if he really wants you (versus bored, lonely, broke and passing time etc-like I explain above), he won’t pass you by. When a man pursues, he’s ‘ready’ for something. Whatever that is, is to be determined.
But back to the subject.
No matter what (or how deep or committed a woman is in a relationship with a man) his way to you (and with you) has to be because he wholeheartedly made the decision to. Men romance the thrill of having pursued you or the process of coming back to you a better man and ready like that of the thrill of asking a woman to marry him: Where (for a woman) the act and preparation of getting married is the equivalent of a man who:
- pursues
- initiates
…or
- wants you wholeheartedly (on his on “recognizance”)
…Don’t rob him of his “marriage” to you. In their minds, men “romance” their hunts. It’s thrilling. Just like when a man asks a woman to marry him, THAT is his “marriage” and moment. He went through all the tiers, tears, motions, and emotions to ask and it be you. That, like the pursuit and the hunt, is a man’s “wedding day.”
That said, NEVER:
- beg him back
- “fatal attraction” him back
- blackmail him back
- or ‘pity you’ him back.
NEVER lure a man back to you on those conditions. If he comes back (and you let him) you stand a MUCH better chance on starting anew (and with some new game I just put you on to), KEEPING him and jump-starting his whole thought process, heart and game.
Here is an example as pulled from an excerpt from my unpublished book: Feel Like A Lady Deal Like a Man: Tips & Secrets on Everything from: Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men
(excerpt from Gem #19):
IN THE INTEREST OF “INTEREST,” DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A MAN’S INTEREST (IN YOU)
I almost forget, an endearing (true story) to share-a rarity that I would be remised if I didn’t tell you (which should also
help you understand what I was talking about back in the Introduction, and Gems #1 and 2 where I mention a man’s interest in you/your world is what makes him want to proclaim/profess his love for you, as opposed to all the other Jokers and other numbers).
A few years ago, I had a friend who, at one time, was feeling “adventurous” (and wanted to try something different): she and another friend of hers had gotten into the whole Internet dating culture. My friend would tell me funny dating stories of how things would go with her. (She too, like me, was student of psych/behavioral sciences but in addition that, she was a student of the social sciences-so this kind of this was big fun to her-analyzing it all, while sincerely searching for love). For many months and Sundays, she and I would dissect all her dating stories and she would come to me for advice to see if my advice would match the decision she made to do/not do [whatever]. In addition, she would run scenarios by my mother (who we considered to be a “neutral-natural”)…then she and I would have lunch weekly and combine all these opinions to see what we could come up with.
If they would be exciting or odd, occasionally, my friend would run something (general) past me about the guys her friend would date, but after some time, I noticed that she had stop running those stories by me. Typically I won’t follow up with a friend about another friend, but my curiosity had totally gotten the best of me. So one day I took a leap of faith and asked my friend (about her friend): “Hey, so what about your girlfriend, did she ever find the right guy yet?” My friend yelled into the phone: “GIRL! Meet me at Applebee’s RIGHT NOW! This story is CRrrrrrAZY!”
We met, got a table, and started going at it.
She told me that her girlfriend had gone from online talking to one guy in particular, to eventually talking on the telephone. (All this was right before Skype, but I don’t recall my friend telling me the two of them ever talked/saw one another on video cam either).
At any rate.
Some months into getting to know one another over the phone, the guy drove to the city so that they could officially meet (he knew some people in town and would be in the city for about a week, so they made plans to hang out and do whatever-for the week).
Wellllll…
As much as he liked her, he was disappointed and blatantly told her she was too “fat” for him, and his whole anticipation of this official moment was dampened. I don’t remember what, if any, details my friend gave me about their “week,” but if my memory serves me correctly, I don’t think he stayed the whole week (as planned)…
After he left, things changed, he had gone on about his way, and she-hers.
(And for the record according to my friend, her friend’s personality is such that, although she was very hurt and lil’ was taken aback by it, she thought it was pretty funny).
At any rate, one day (out the clear blue sky) the guy called her up and told her that he had been having long talks with himself about his decision and wanted to know if she would consider picking up where they left off. He said that he liked her so much that he was willing to put his shallowness aside to try and get past it all. I do recall that he was impressed with the fact that she had “a world” …and in addition to that, he liked everything about her up until he saw that she was “fat,” but he kicked that little devil off his shoulder and kept it moving with the girl! (Awesome!…He’s a keeper-that is a rarity in men, and for the record, no, it was not one of those deals where some kind was preying on the low self-esteem of a vulnerable fat girl, to my understanding, she was not “that” kind of “fat” girl)…
Long story short…he liked her enough that they began courting back and forth from the 200-mile distance to the point where he began making plans with her on building a life (together/with her). Eventually he moved to the city, they got a house, bought other property, began renting out to tenants, started a small business, and he just…starting making this things happen with this girl (like men DO when they feel they’ve found their Queen and can finally exhale)…
According to my friend, he really loves her-so much so that my friend said they were two peas in a pod to an “annoying” fault… (LoL…she was a tad jealous I could tell…just a tad) LoL…
Well, the last time I checked, the two of them were still doing well (and her friend is still “fat”) but so what…he loves her, and did what a man does when he really wants a woman: PROFESS, and BUILD with you: 50-50. There are millions of skinny women all over the world who would kill for a beautiful love story and a man like this.
In every sense of the word, what an exceptional happily ever after this is.
So (like I explained in the Introduction, and Gems #1 and 2) don’t ever underestimate the power of the importance of having “a world” of your own. It is that “something” that (can) interest him, which in turn (can) make him interested in you aside from the other Jokers, other numbers (and surprisingly-it can withstand lust and desire). It’s a very important factor.
(end excerpt)
BEAUTIFUL 360 Right?!
