Enjoy some chapter snippets on the secret to him not cheating on you from my not yet unreleased book where I introduce you to a methodology called RPC method (reverse psychology cheating method–that I’m looking to have used in relationship therapy clinics the world over-for committed couples who still have it for one another and are committed to exploring NEW, UNCONVENTIONAL ways of salvaging and falling back in love with each other and the relationship altogether).
Although men aren’t “built” for monogamy (“genitalia-ly”, physiologically and sight x mind)-and monogamy is a decision that man has to make, there is something YOU can do (to make his mind up for him–without him even knowing). I PROMISE you this!
As well, check out Table of Contents and Introduction of the book FEEL LIKE A LADY, DEAL LIKE A MAN: Tips & Secrets on Everything from Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men (to know what this book is all about):
GEM 21.
The Secret To Him Not Cheating On You & Making
it Last Happily Ever After…
THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND CHEATING & HOW TO REVERSE IT
Before I can show you how to reverse (on him) the psychology of cheating, we need to talk for a second. Know this:
Although cheating is a deviation of one’s emotional and/or physical self from the person with which they are mutually committed (with the exception of a man feeling emasculated to any particular degree) contrary to belief and although it does happen; when a man cheats, it is rarely to fulfill an emotional need. It is almost always purely physical and ignited by passion of some kind.
Passion can be a good and a bad thing.
Good-when burning in a committed relationship, but bad when fueled because of the secrecy involved in cheating + the emotion (anger, upset) once discovered.
The covert and secrecy involved in cheating is “motivating”…Motivation is passion.
Anger and upset (once cheating is discovered), is “stimulating”…Stimulation is passion.
In order to remove the passion from cheating, you have to do a kind of reverse psychology on it by:
- · refraining from fervent upset and emotional response to it
- · uncovering and remove the secrecy behind it
- · summoning the cheating desires and actions
- · sequestering the cheating desires and actions
- · become the object of those desires and actions
…that way, the secrecy [and therefore the passion] from cheating is stolen back then put back into the relationship to which it is committed (and belongs).
PASSION IS A DEVILS’ ADVOCATE THAT PLAYS BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE OF CHEATING AS WELL AS FAITHFULNESS
Later in the chapter (and throughout), you will see me stress the importance of “passion” being a part of a (committed) relationship.
You have to look at passion like a devil’s advocate: it plays both sides of the fence:
- · Pleasure for cheats/cheating
as well as:
- · The key ingredient for ever-lasting love in committed relationships
I will explain.
Let’s face it, men do cheat on women whom they adore, love, desire, and have an active sex-life with. (As you will find soon into the chapter) they mainly cheat because they haven’t an outlet and release of the wide variety of desires and thoughts that are derived from worldly stimuli and temptations. Without that outlet and release, at opportune moments in time-they act on many (or some) of them.
The only way for you to counteract and repel the power and act of cheating, is to understand how our minds work (men are included in this).
Listen carefully, and I am going to give you your reward upfront.
I am so confident that by the time you are done reading Gem #’s 20 and 21, your relationship will blessed (not damned) near begin again…(without the interruption, perils, and annoyance of the “norm” and worry of cheating)-by reversing the psychology on cheating in a way that makes even the thought of doing so seem absolutely pointless.
RPC (REVERSE-PSYCHOLOGY CHEATING): HOW THE “FORMULA” CAME ABOUT
You have to understand the psychology that you will be reversing, before you can reverse it. I will reveal it all to you-what it is you will be “playing” on.
Here’s the deal:
As a student of psychology + philosophy, I cannot help but be attracted to “people studies” and experiments that require results demonstrated by full-proof and inarguable analyzing.
Some years ago on one of those Dateline NBC/ABC or CBS channels, I was watching a people study about “secrets” and our ability (or inability) to keep secrets-what happens to us psychologically when secrets are told to us.
In the study, they invited several people into a room where a lecture was being given and I believe that while the lecture was going on, the speaker used a white teddy bear (as a prop-for whatever reason), but little did the people know, they made sure the room was dark in color enough so that the white teddy bear that the speaker picked up could be visible (although in the first lecture), the teddy bear had nothing to do with the lecture.
When they were all interviewed individually (along with an emotional-response test attached to them), they were asked to recite what (if anything) was unusual about the lecture-no one remembered anything “peculiar,” or that “stood out”…not even the white bear!
The same subjects (people) attended another lecture where (this time) the speaker specifically introduced the white bear and as a part of the lecture and then asked them all to forget that they saw the bear (then he proceeded to lecture).
When the subjects were interviewed this time, again-with an emotional response test, they were asked the same question (about what, if anything peculiar stood out or no) and this time, they all did not pass the emotional response portion of the test.
When the test was over, and the results were in-turns out (in that second testing), some of the subjects kept the secret (about not revealing having seen the white bear), but still… their emotional response test told on them: it registered a lie, while the others came on out and told the tester about having seen the white bear anyways (even with having being asked not to mention seeing the white bear).
Do you get the irony of the entire experiment (the first and the second lecture + the testing?)
This was it:
In the first lecture, when the speaker merely picked up the bear and put it down (without saying anything about the bear), all the subjects’ emotional response registered normal when asked about seeing anything peculiar or that stood out (they forgot all about seeing the white bear when it wasn’t brought to their attention). But when in the second lecture, they were asked not to reveal having seen the white bear-their emotional response (and big mouths) revealed the “secret.”
It wasn’t until many years later, (by experience, observation, study, conversation, and just how things have always gone-where cheating is concerned) I noticed that when men cheated on women, the cheating seemed to be “fueled” by the woman’s emotional response to it. Whenever the woman would kick, scream, fight him and obsess over it, it never remedied the cheating-it was like some odd kind of reinforcement for the man. And no matter her tears, breakdowns, the upset, or anger; it just wasn’t enough to make the man say: “This is it. My wife/girlfriend is a mess. And this’ll never happen again!” If he did say that, and even if he meant it-it always happened [and often times-does happen] again.
Never once have I heard tell of a woman hearing about, or finding out for sure-that her man was cheating and she carried on in the relationship without revolt and incident, emotional hysteria always seemed like the natural response. But I also noticed that in addition to that, after the kicking, screaming, fighting and crying was over, relationships where the truth was put on the table and the cheating was discussed in detail, it seemed to bring the couples a little closer (for a little while), but then after some time-the man would eventually cheat again.
I then came to the conclusion that:
a) Something “fuels” cheating
b) Some kind of persistent stimuli motivates the cheating
c) Something perpetual, insistent, and consistent causes men to act on some kind of selfish impulse, desire, thought, and temptation (out of habit, and no matter how hard they try to fight it)
…and that “something” was: The “Secrecy.”
–this is an excerpt 🙂
THE FOUNDATION & POWER SECRECY
After seeing that study, and by way of my own observations over the years, it kept pulling at me that it’s something about secrets/secrecy that does something weird to all of us, but for men-even more so. Cheating involves so much covert play, and combined with the fact that men know (as compared to man-man) women tend to have less general empathy and compassion for and toward one another where men are involved (especially if they do not know one another). That being the case, a man knows that unless a woman’s emotions get too far in the way, he can steal away with as many moments as he desires to. That being said, a man knows that he can live in Apt 10 with his significant other and screw the single woman next door at Apt 11; free, clear, until, [or if ever] her emotions get too far involved. But as long as she cooperates, the better sex he will give her (as incentive that this covert operation can continue up to and until). And for the both of them-this will feel like “passion”-all stirred up and merely sitting atop the foundation of the secrecy (fueling it).
Over the years as I’ve studied people and relationships, I noticed that men are extremely sensitive and defensive about women cheating on men even if they do not know the man. Yet, they have no problem when it comes to hearing about a man cheating on a woman (even if they know that woman). That same empathy of a woman being hurt from being cheated on by a man is not the same as the empathy that a man will feel-for another man-being cheated on (by a woman).
–this is an excerpt 🙂
CHEATING: SELFISHNESS + PASSION + SECRECY
Cheating, and the lack of empathy it takes to do it, proves that it is indeed a selfish act. A woman’s histrionics and emotional response to cheating can annoy a man into cheating (and extending the affair)simply because fighting him about it makes the cheating seem more passionate to him. It’s a feeling of being stolen away-indulging in forbidden moments-that is the turn on. That kind of “passion” is the kind that your fighting it does not have the power to reverse. When a man is doing something that brings him sexual pleasure like: watching a girl at the strip club dance for him, eyeing hot girls at the mall, or at work etc., you add fuel to the fantasy by fighting with it and fighting him on it.
Instead, you have to JOIN IT.
By way of that white bear experiment, I discovered that cheating was a lot like the study:
When you acknowledge anything-like for example: cheating, by fighting it (or asking that it not be done)… just like the subjects’ big mouths and their emotional responses; your fighting/asking that it not be done, becomes fuel for cheating (as did their emotional responses register after being asked not to acknowledge the white bear).
So after years of studying men and cheating, I discovered that the only way to put the fire out on cheating is by two words: SHARING and ALLOWING. Even if you are not into women, you do this by sharing his temptation, desire, and lust of another woman with him, by allowing the acts to be done with you (to be used as foreplay, and sex-play for the two of you, rather than his acting on those desires with the object/s of his desires).
When you do so, you remove:
- · The SELFISH element of cheating
- · The PASSION element of cheating
- · The SECRECY involved in cheating
…all by way of getting to the root of what the actual thing is that causes a man to cheat.
–this is an excerpt 🙂
WHAT TEMPTS/TRIGGERS A MAN TO CHEAT
Men step out on the relationship because they are in need of a release and an outlet-not necessarily because he is tired of you or tired of you or tired of having sex with you. It’s just that men are physiologically, biologically and physically different that women, and because this is so-their desires (derived from daily temptations and moments of temporary lust) are far greater in variety than any one woman can fulfill.
Imagine what it would be like for you to be working on two projects that you love. Each and every time you show up with one team, they have several new things and new ways to show you how the project is developing. That newness and variety excites you-it’s never the same thing twice. No matter how the project ends up, you are so intrigued with the variety, fun, and newness that this could go on forever…indefinitely.
But when you return to the other team, they have the same few ways of doing things, and although you appreciate it (and it is working nonetheless), and not that it’s not progressing, but it’s a predictable monotonous process that to you-day by day feels like “work” in progress, rather than like with Team 1, feels like “play” and progress.
You would love to share all that variety that you’re getting from Team 1 with Team 2, but to do so would most probably cause Team 2 to feel unappreciated (and most likely-the project will fold).
You get it?
Team 1 is: his thoughts and desires (derived from stimuli or temptation throughout the day).
Team 2 is: You.
(Now you really get it huh?)…
The main reason that men cheat is because he cannot share his momentary or lingering innermost desires and thoughts with you-and because of how he is built physiologically, biologically, [and especially-physically], those momentary and lingering thoughts and desires need an outlet, a release-they have to be shared with someone. (Just like the white bear experiment. Think of the white bear being shown to the subjects and them being told not to report having seen the bear…the temptation involved. The white bear is equivalent to the worldly temptations then men fight to ignore on a daily basis. They are told by their girlfriends and wives “you’d better not touch!” …just like in the experiment lecturer advised: “You’d better not tell!”
The subjects’ emotional responses could not handle (not telling).
Men are the same way-they have to tell somebody (about their temptations, stimuli, and their emotional responses! They have to get it out!
He only has two options: Tell them to his friends(s), or to act on them.
Not every single desire or thought requires a release, but they happen enough that at some point; they will need a release and outlet. He will be in search of, or plan to do just that.
With these exercises, sexual situations and scenarios, and concepts that I will be teaching you-you will intercept that…you will be open for that, youwill accept the fact that he has these thoughts and desires rather than it being secrets of his-stored away (up to and until)…
Without revolt or incident, you will give him permission to share all of his thoughts and desires with you and the two of you will use them as fuel for your relationship like petroleum is fuel for your car…Yours is Passion (for your care).
–this is an excerpt 🙂
LOVE AND BASKETBALL
…A love story about a Boy, a Girl, and Basketball.
A good visual and analogy of this relationship-saving and concept and teaching is a segment out of the movie called “Love and Basketball.”
Remember the main characters [a Girl and Boy] grew up together since childhood and had a history together-their common thread from childhood throughout college was: Basketball.
Time passed, things changed, and eventually during college-the two of them grew apart. The Boy ended up being engaged to another woman and was preparing to go on with his life. By this time, the only common thread they had was that their parents still had homes facing the back of each other (as were both their bedroom windows).
Okay so, with the Boy’s fiancé away, and the Girl home after graduating college, remember the night when they were talking to one another from out of their bedroom window and the Girl asked to play the Boy in a game of one-on-one? As they met outside in the back yard-right before the game began, the Boy then asked: “What are we playing for?” And the Girl replied: “Your Heart…”
This is such a good analogy of this concept of RPC. Life threw curve-balls between the both of them, and although the Girl knew he was engaged to be married, she still knew that somewhere inside of him, he still loved her and that there was still and iota of a chance to salvage what they had-so she wanted to fight for it.
Visualize your relationship in that same regard.
Regardless if you have a great relationship and there are no curveballs and you just want to ensure that your man’s mind, heart, and physical body never steps out of the relationship, or if time and life has indeed thrown you a curve ball where because of-the passion, romance, and desire is missing [or whatever disconnect there may be] all has gotten to the point where things seem routine and the two of you and you are doing the responsible thing by honoring whatever commitments that together you share; like the Boy and the Girl, if there is any iota of desire left between you two, RPC can indeed salvage it.
Let me proceed to explain.
While the Boy and the Girl were playing the game of one-on-one, do you remember how hard she was playing? The frustration in her face-how badly she wanted to win? Remember how he was dunking, sticking, and moving all over her-scoring and frustrating her more and more (but she kept trying: huffing, puffing, and gasping). She wanted to win really bad…it was like she was playing for her life (and she was).
That scene is a perfect analogy about this RPC relationship exercise.
Instead playing for his “heart” (only), you are playing for his thoughts (too).
The agony that the Girl had (while playing and trying to win the game) can be compared to the sexual angst and frustration you’re feeling while he is “dunking all over you”: [telling you all his thoughts and desires] that, because this kind of sex is not you guys’ norm; it will indeed be a literal sexual culture shock to you.
Use that unfamiliarity you’ll feel as fuel to arouse you in the bedroom.
No one can predict the emotion of the heat of the moment-that would all depend on what’s being said and done between the two of you.
As mentioned before, the awesome thing about this Reverse Psychology Cheating method is that it could run a gamut of emotional sex: From slow, tearful, and emotional for you, through to agonizing and aggressively arousing to you. One moment you may be in the sexual mood to challenge it, another moment-you may be in the mood to submit to it-it will be different every time, because men carry on a variety of thoughts and desires stimulated by different kinds of stimuli and temptation. While he sets the scene for the foreplay and the sex-play, he could be mean about it (to arouse and challenge you), he could over exaggerate (to take you higher), or he could deliver it to you emotionally (to match your tearfully submitting to it).
SIDENOTE MENTION:
If you are going to watch the movie (to freshen your memory) don’t watch it to turn to that scene only, watch it from the very beginning through to that scene (so that you can feel their “history”) because with this method of making love, that “history” is representative of your relationship (regardless your relationship’s own unique history).
To savor the flavor to that point of wanting to play the game for his heart (thoughts), you have to observe the history of the relationship leading up to that scene and equate that to how you and your man have always related…you know-the norm… with other people-in other relationships. Yet this time, by this method, you want to play this part of the game in your relationship for something he’s never shared with any other woman before: his thoughts, desires, lust (for not just you) but for other women too.
This is entire RPC relationship-saving concept is the cocoa cure. I promise you this.
As ideal as we are programmed into thinking that religious faith, love, communication and respect for one another is the key to sustainability and happily ever after, (although those are key ingredients) no one wants to talk about that “other” communication: The part that he keeps to himself (or tells his friend/s).
You cannot ignore it-because it’s a part of him.
No matter how hard it may be for you to accept this one thing as true-that: as one woman, you are not going to be able to fulfill his every thought and desire that, unless he has the outlet to release and share those desires with you, eventually he gets tired of you guys’ routine (Ms. Team 2)…then eventually, he’s looking for another team (whether it’s kept in his head, told to his friends, or it’s acted upon).
The other irony about cheating or stepping outside the relationship is that when a man cheats, he is really only using them for that release and outlet too, and when it’s done, he’s back home or (if he is a serial cheater) he’s back out acting upon his thoughts and desires-and merely looking for another “Team 1”…that is…until YOU capture it-intercept it, and as a result, it all stays home…
–this is an excerpt 🙂
UNLEASH THE BEAST
You’ve heard the saying before: “Show Me a Beautiful Woman and I’ll Show You the Man Who(’s) _________________” (fill in the blank):
- · Tired of her
- · Tired of fu(king her
It’s one or the other, but either way-means the same thing.
That saying is not entirely true, but it is basically true.
The “basics” is this:
Like animals, monogamy is not natural (for any of us-men or women).
We have intuitive dominion over animals, therefore, our intuitive natures afford us the ability to discern, and operate “civilly” in order to function as a society.
Instinct (for animals) is what intuition is for us humans.
We are all like animals, but animals have their own “society” like we have our own-but we run our societies differently.
In animal society, there is no conversation, ostracizing, rationalization, and logic-it’s all about survival of the fittest in any and everything up to and including how they all eat, how they all sleep, and how they all live. It’s strictly survival-day in and day out. There’s no relaxation and no “civil” civilization-just procreation, surviving, and maintaining-by all means necessary (and instinctual).
In our society, we have the capacity to make rules that have to be adhered, to and for those that do not follow them-we “cage” them (by institutionalizing them).
In addition to that, we fear shame and being ostracized-animals don’t.
For example, when animals they have sex, they don’t go run off to private quarters-they do the deed right there where they (or anyone else) stands, swims, crawls or rests.
(I won’t go too far into talk of human -vs-animal civilization; I’m going to stick strictly to sex).
Unlike animals, when we have sex we retreat to private quarters, because our society is such that we have intuition, rules, order, structure, and there is a price to pay for [what we have been conditioned to believe] is improper sexual acts that may be frowned upon as deviate: like rape. Animals have sex and procreate (like what human “rape” is). Animals don’t hook up to meet and date like we do-to get to know one another before sex. They just instinctively go for it.
But when we instinctively go for it (have one-night stands with people we don’t know) we keep it a secret, because it is frowned upon in our society.
When we step outside our marriages and cheat-we sneak and do it because it too-is frowned upon in our society.
Anything involving sex, when tend to retreat to as much privacy as we can because although it’s something that we (humans) know we all do, it is looked upon as something private and intimate (no matter if it’s a one-night stand, a relationship of commitment, or casual sex). Our society will not accept us walking down the street and discovering love at first sight then dropping our pants right there in the middle of the street to start having sex. At closest example, if it’s that much “love at first sight” we’ll find a cozy corner with which to act on our (animal) instincts-away from view.
In our civil society, when it comes to sex, women are socialized badly and frowned upon for promiscuous sexual behavior whereas men aren’t, because it is “expected” of men (almost in a way that it is expected that animals have sex indiscriminately).
Physiologically, biologically, and physically speaking, men are indeed “built” differently from women-so they kinda get a “pass” in the sexually indiscriminate/promiscuous department. Scientifically speaking, men’s minds are more preoccupied with sex than a woman’s mind will ever be, because of their pleasure center (the hypothalamus) being twice the size of a woman’s is (when they are in a committed relationship) their desires, thoughts, and actions regarding those thoughts is something that’s only tamed by fear of being ostracized, fear of being shamed, fear of bringing shame to their family and friends.
When they are single, they tend to be promiscuous (like that of animals) however, the only difference is that they take their dirty deeds to private quarters and animals do not.
The key sentence in what I just explained is this (and I will highlight and repeat it): “Scientifically speaking, men’s minds are more preoccupied with sex than a woman’s mind will ever be, because of their pleasure center (the hypothalamus) being twice the size of a woman’s is. When they are in a committed relationship, their desires, thoughts, and actions regarding those thoughts are something only tamed by fear of being ostracized, fear of being shamed, fear of bringing shame to their family and friends.”
In short, when a man is in a committed relationship (whether married, or live-in boyfriend), his mind still can’t help desiring, lusting [and sometimes] acting on whatever those desires may be. And just because he is your husband or man, that doesn’t mean those desires and thoughts are going to always be centered around: You. This world and life are way too big with way too many other people and other things. So since he does not want to be ostracized, shamed, or bring shame to his family and friends, if he ACTS on it by stepping out on the relationship-he’s going to do it in secret, or even if he doesn’t [step out]-the DESIRES and THOUGHTS simply do not go away.
(He’s gotta put ‘em somewhere…time is ticking Ms. Team 2)…
With all that being said, with as many beautiful women as there are in this world: on television, in grocery store lines standing in front of them, in the pages of magazines, at their work, at the mall riding down the escalator, on night club poles, and everywhere-a man’s pleasure center will be on and activated all night and day until the moment he sleeps at night. As beautiful and wonderful as you may be, and despite the fact that he may adore you, admire you, love, you, love having sex with you, or even looks forward to having sex with you-the fact still remains:
- · Yes, he is going to get tired of you
and
- · Yes, he is going to get tired of fu(king you
The most realistic as you can be in being preparation for accepting this chapter’s suggestion (that I will put money the fact that it will make your relationship last happily ever
after) is to:
–this is an excerpt 🙂
VARIETY
That’s the key word of the goings on.
In their minds, men have a variety of sex with a variety of different women, in a variety of different places, in a variety of different sexual positions, and do and say a variety of different things with a wide variety of them all.
You are just one woman. And no matter how hot the sex is between you two-you cannot meet the “variety” in his mind’s desire and plethora of scenarios-they vary from woman to woman.
In a relationship with one woman, that one man (with all this “variety”) has no one with which he can share all this “variety” he has bubbling up and stiffening inside of him except for his other male friends (whom he cannot have sex with). So the male friends get all the “variety” of goodies about the many women he lust, desires, and considers.
While sitting on the couch and watching television, your man has had plenty of days where he replayed conversations with his buddies about this hot girl at work who’s flirting and throwing herself at him. And although he hasn’t had sex with her…(yet), if he does not get that outlet and release; he will-he just may. Until then (and in an effort to not step out on the relationship) he will continue to talk about it to his friend(s), because he just can’t say these words (in any version or variation) to you: “Baby, this chick at work keeps rubbing up on me at the vending machine, she comes on to me every day. Her ass turns me on, she’s pretty, she’s got nice legs, beautiful tits, nice thighs, her body is just…Ahhhhh! Her beautiful face, her skin, her hair-oh my goodness she’s fine! I am dying to fuck the shit out of this girl-so much so that it is driving me up a wall. I can’t stop thinking about her! She’d better keep her ass away from me-coming on to me like that or else I’m going to just grab her and take her down to the basement of the building and tear her down…”
…Can you imagine your husband or man saying that to you-with that kind of lust, excitement, and desire for another woman?
I know your answer is “no,” or better yet: “hell no!”
But if you want to keep the passion and desire contained to your relationship (happily ever after); you’ll have to condition yourself to having those kinds of conversations with your man, you know… just like I mentioned in Gem #20 about whether it’s actual cheating or a desire in his mind; the power is in the fact that the greatest fuel in cheating stems from the secrecy involved and is as well (if not-even more); fueled by your emotional response to it, that instead… since you CAN’T BEAT HIM, if you learned to JOIN HIM, you will indeed beat it-and in doing so, that passion and desire for [that or those other women that he felt], will then ricochet back as fuel for your relationship-between the both of you.
–this is an excerpt 🙂
THE PASSION EFFECT
As you condition him to share and condition yourself to allow, it kills the fantasy and the passion that fuels cheating. It becomes almost “disgusting” for him to entertain the thought of stepping out on the relationship with another woman, knowing that he and you (on a regular basis) lust and feast on just that thing [that he will no longer feel good about] doing. It blows the fantasy-and interrupts the thoughts that were at one time-a hot, passionate secret.
This willingness to allow him to tell you every detail that he liked/lusted about other women (even if you are not bi-sexual) will anger, and hurt you enough to tears that while making love, turns into a kind of passion that the both of you have never experienced.
It’s explosive! You are conditioning him with a reverse kind of psychology (of sharing) that you too, will be conditioning yourself (to allow).
Although (coming up-as you read on) I will share with you-some extremely hot examples of sexual scenarios; there really are no “premeditated” words that can express what will actually happen-but I do know that it will drive you crazy and bring out the animal in him! Believe me when I tell you…he doesn’t even know that he has been waiting to be able to release in this manner. The two of you will end up having more sex and there will be more passion between the two of you than he ever could have done while cheating.
Enjoy you guys’ lust-fest.
By being willing to share his thoughts and desires, not only are you creating more quality time for you and him, but it will even cut out some of that “me and the guys” time that he tends too.
Men who are committed (married men too) spend about 50% of their “me and the guys” time talking about sports, etc. And typically, that the other 50% is spent talking about things that he dare not talk about near your presence-(and other testosterone-filled things) up to and including all those thoughts, desires, and temptations that he will now be conditioned to enjoy and share with you-something he can act on…with you that he cannot-with them!
By your willing to share lust, you are secretly
–this is an excerpt 🙂
THE POWER OF PASSION, MYSTERY, DESIRE, & LUST FOR COMPANIONSHIP: THE STEP ABOVE RELATIONSHIP
Don’t underestimate the power of sexual passion; it coats the entire relationship with an unbreakable polymer that keeps it trump-tight.
With this kind of variety and passion, there will be nothing that your relationship cannot overcome. Passion eradicates perils. When you have ongoing passion in a relationship, you are more willing to compromise and work other frivolous and serious things out. Because of the fact that you both know you are having too good a time coming together for sex and passion, you’d look crazy playing tug of war with other relationship issues. Whether you’re married, or simply living together-committed, when two people don’t have enough passion in their relationship + sex life, their willingness to work together is obsolete-and very selfish, cavalier, and blasé. But when they have passion, even the strongest and most serious disagreements turn flirtatious and into a kind of battle of the sexes-in the “fight” to see who actually has the most emotional, mental, or physical control over the entire relationship (yet-because of the passion between them) they both know that nobody (either one of them) is “losing”…regardless whomever “wins.”
never understood two things about married couples and live-ins:
1) Why they spend all that time single-having passionate sex and flings, but then get into a committed relationship and turn into Maw and Paw Kettle; merely climbing on top of one another and “doing their business.”
2) Why they begin to build together (have babies, build credit, homes, a life etc), and fall into the train of thought that “date-night” and occasional flirting is passion enough to hold a relationship together. Sorry, it is not. When a woman commits to a man (live-in or married) she has to fully
–this is an excerpt 🙂
“A LADY IN THE STREETS AND A FREAK IN THE SHEETS”
As a part of being a “lady” we women tend to hold on to standards where we find certain rhetoric to be offensive-regardless whose mouth it exits. We would rather wash our mouths out with soap than to use certain words, and would be ready to cut a man’s testicles off for referring to us as such words (whether jokingly and especially-seriously).
Certain words, namely, like: “Bitch,” “Whore,” “Slut” (and any other variables, versions or subcategories) of the same.
Although we abhor words as such, like most everything; there is a time and a place where there are exceptions to certain rules (and standards). As it pertains to RPC and the type of sex involved, considering the emotion behind it, there may be a time (or two, or three) that “bitch,” “whore,” and “slut” may be at the tip of your man’s tongue. To that I say, allow him. Aggressive words and aggressive, dominant sex is natural for men. It releases their animal instinct and heightens the experience for them. And when they are allowed to do and say things that they normally would not be able to do and say outside of the bedroom, it turns them on.
During RPC foreplay and sex play, if the fantasy in his head of the the woman who was the object of his desire was some woman who
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TYPES OF SEXUAL PLAY & FANTASIES TO PLAY ON IN RPC
As if you can’t tell, I love this RPC method. It allows you to put the spark back into your relations + your sex life because you are role-playing about real things from inside his mind-not just the typical role-play of being the French Maid, schoolgirl, stripper, or stranger; with RPC he’s mostly initiating the scenarios based upon what he wasn’t able to get off on the variety of women [that he could have], so he may “punish” you.
In doing so, that can be some awesome animalistic aggressive sex for you two, and as well-it can be slow emotional and tearful sex (for you), which in turn, could throw him into an empathetic mode of sex and he could well cry with you-who knows? These RPC scenarios are such that no matter how pre-planned an idea I can give you, each and every time your love-making will turn into its own thing.
I know that I spent the entire part of this chapter telling you to let him have it his way, and by methodology-that is how it works and is supposed to work, because again-your are stealing his thoughts, lust, and desires that he otherwise would not share with you-but rather-his friends (or cheat and act on them altogether).
BUT, we women have thoughts, desires, and lusts too (sometimes).
We’re human.
So as a part of this RPC play, don’t hesitate (on some nights that he has you in tears from fu(king you and telling you about how he wanted to tear some other woman down), feel free to sneak it in on him-about how the guy at your job is flirting with you and how you too-have entertained the thought of that handsome, muscular, veiny, young buck tearing you down (too).
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SWINGING
WARNING TO YOU ABOUT MY RPC METHOD: I know with all this “feasting” on 3rd parties talk, it sounds awesome as a precursor for an invite of a third party into your bedroom for fun…but that’s just it: This method (why it works) is because it’s for two people in a relationship. This methodology is not effective for threesomes and such. That’s not what this is about. RPC method is about CONTAINING (and subtly controlling) your man’s desires for the two of YOU.
It’s mental, physical, psychological and spiritual (and exclusive). Don’t forget that.
People tend to swing in an effort to “turn it up in the bedroom” with the same intent that women reach to turn it up in the bedroom by stripping for their man.
Give both considerations get an “e” (for effort) however they both get an “f” (for fail).
They are both: Epic Fails.
When you swing, you invite another body into the sexual relationship between the two of you that once that soul tie is created-it never really leaves. Call me biased, but as a very sexually creative, kinky, and imaginative person, I do pardon people who elect to swing because from their point of view, they too, think it is creative, kinky, and imaginative-however it is the easy way [in and out].
The sex is awesome at best (awkward-at worst), but each time swinging happens it chips away at intimacy that is needed for relationship. With Reverse-Psychology Cheating, the gamut of emotional sex (from slow, tearful, and emotional through to agonizing and aggressively arousing) is so unpredictable in that one moment you may be in the sexual mood to challenge it, and in another moment-you may be in the mood to submit to it. These moments create the kind of intimacy between the two of you that cannot be created with a whole other body between the two of you.
Although swinging is/could be a turn on to watch the pleasure your man or woman is giving to and having with another person while watching and hearing that other person getting pleasure from it, if your sexual imagination is through the roof [as I am going over in this chapter and will be offering you some scenarios on-upcoming] then the same effect (and better) can be obtained without the expense of the perils that your relationship will eventually suffer later by bringing a whole other person in between the two of you (for sex).
Don’t cheat yourself out of explosive private passion between you two by sacrificing the kind of turn-on and kinky sex that you two-alone, can too, create; far more a turn on than swinging due to the sexual agony involved of him literally fucking your mind, fucking your emotions and fucking your body while telling you his desires, lusts, turn ons and head-scenarios about other women.
The fun in swinging doesn’t do the number on a man’s head that Reverse Psychology Cheating does. With RPC you can create the swinging-like experience, but the benefit of RPC the conditioning of his thoughts, lust, and desires to belong to you at all times…(but for the both of you to use as fuel during sex). That being said
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SNIPPETS from FEEL LIKE A LADY, DEAL LIKE A MAN: Tips & Secrets on Everything from: Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men AND FOUND THEM USEFUL! RPC WORKS!
Tap in to more on another excerpt (Gem 16) It Takes A Fool To Learn That Love Don’t Love Nobody
