ever accept the critique or judgment of the negative without ever being given the positive (too), because trust me, there is at least one positive that can be found—even if there are ten negatives. If they can’t hand you your positive, with the same zeal and detail as the neg-then they never cared or concentrated on it and they don’t mean you well. The positive they hand you should be with just as much passion/concern/interest/knowledge and as well-thought out as the neg.
*Squints nose with head titled to the side*
2) Never let “Congratulations!” come before Encouragement.
This rule applies to people who know you personally.
With the exception of general/expected accomplishment or feats i.e., graduating, etc., “Congratulations!” is a sentiment only acceptable by strangers and people who don’t know you or have never had any personal connection to you.
Strangers who don’t know you are allowed to meet and greet you where you’re at. People who know you greet you from where you were.
If encouragement or well wishes never, ever superseded “congratulations!” that congratulations is null and void. As well, any conversation whatsoever about the journey: The terrain, the ups, the downs, the hurts, the pains, the stresses, the tears, the fears, the triumphs: off limits. Without grudge or incident, it’s just not a conversation to be had with anybody that didn’t ride the ride with me, or encourage or well-wish me. I’m the type that would flat out ignore you and if you insist: I’ll embarrass you. If feel-just keep it natural and “as was” during the journey. So helpfully during that journey you were with me in spirit, on phone, or in person.
My thinking is: Why would you congratulate someone at the end to the means of a process that you obviously knew was in place–one that I never got one word of encouragement/well-wish from you on? That’s weird to me and total misuse of sincerity and time.
*Squints nose with head titled to the side*
No one should be that bold, or that desperate, or that stupid enough to congratulate the homie, friend, or relative whose grind paid off-if while during, they never offered one word of encouragement or well-wish of any kind. My thing is: If you pretended to not know the grind was in motion, then treat the shine the same way too–like you don’t know it’s now moving things. Just act like you are blinded by it and you don’t even see it. Be natural now, like what did (or did not) flow naturally from you-then. Go with the flow and come what may (or nothing). My reality is: Can you handle my still being as-was to you? ‘Cause I can do that, the question is: can you, though?
So what does all that have to do with what Rihanna (allegedly) said to Karrueche?
Welp.
About the Leonardo DiCaprio rumors that she and him are/have been creeping around together, Rihanna just said it herself in interview: “Stay off the blogs, they will screw you every time.”
Having said that…(simply for shock value, and reads); let’s just hope Ok Magazine was bored and made up that olive branch of a story they said she extended to Karrueche.
Because in “girl speak”………….honey-child:
We alllllllllll know the side chick/main chick game.
And at one time Kae was the side chick when Rihanna was the main and other times, Kae was the main and Rihanna was the side.
Alllll women know (or should know) that in the game of “women:”
When one chick (side or main) is broken up with the dude and the other side reaches out to her, she’s merely happy that they both don’t have the dude. Come on now.
The only exception to that rule is this (sort of like my 2-rule examples of positives and sincere frames of reference):
If during our wrangles and triangles, (that’s key: What occurred DURING determines what I can accept as sincere from you after the fact)…So…if during [our triangle and wrangles] the chick never reached out to me to make it clear that there are no issues with me, then how in the hell can she (or should she) reach out to me when not only is she not with the dude anymore; but I’m not either—yet, she chops it up with me like we’re chums! And to top it off: Offers me friendly “homegirl” advice?
*Squints nose with head titled to the side*
I’m just not one someone would want to try their new-leaf turnovers or bouts of change and “positivity” on.
I’m a: “put it in practice for a while-then come to me with that kinda stuff so I know it’s real” kinda girl. I can feel the difference.
But hey…I’m gracious and have mastered the art of being fake-gracious to fake-sincerity (trust me on that via my 2 words for my 2 rules):
“Gee. Thanks.”
bats lashes fast and rolls my eyes in my head
But in my head:
Spitfire .
Media Maestro .
Writing Rhinoceros .
