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I still had to stay on my toes with her because of the kind of access she had to me (because she wasn’t always predictable). She could (and would) flip on me at any minute and I would be the last to know why. She was the type to squeeze the trigger first and ask questions later and sometimes-it was all squeezing, no asking.

I can only imagine it turning into about as much a need as we need food, water, or sex-and like for a drug addict to need a fix of the drug that they invited into their lives, body, and mind. I can only imagine how hard a habit that would be to break. Eventually, doing shit like that can do nothing but take over: you, your mind, and definitely all your time. Sooner than later, that would be proven to me in ways more over than I could have ever assumed would be true for her. And if as if having me wasn’t already the fix she just couldn’t shake, she had an even bigger addiction she was setting her own psyche and heart up for. I didn’t want any trouble. She didn’t even have to worry about my getting angry. All she had to do now, was not push me: her pusher, and I would forever keep her high…

11 Things You Shouldn’t Do This Year As we begin 2015, people all around you have resolved to do all…