have the option to bypass when we are most truthful to ourselves.
(Yes, although experience is indeed the best teacher), there are some lessons whose class we have the choice (in advance) not to show up to, too.
In order to maintain your joy, you have to be hard on yourself when being true to yourself. But don’t be hard on yourself about progress on yourself, due to impatience or dissatisfaction during progress or during a process of anything.
Being the Diamonds that we are, as women, our impatience and our unwillingness to endure is our enemy. We find ourselves caught up in the biggest situational blunders that we sometimes cringe at the thought of (once we’ve made our way through them) and dare not refer to them as lessons or anything that we want to give life to (no matter how far in the past they are and remain).
In the game of relationship, staying true to yourself is the very best thing you can do for yourself. It will save you from countless EMOTIONAL, ROMANTIC, PERSONAL and SEXUAL situations that could have been prevented or dealt with head-on, before those oh-so undesirable outcomes that we have to live with, become unnecessary blemishes.
One blunder that will forever perplex me is where seasoned and free-spirited Diamonds (who, from listening to, hearing about, or talking to) seem to have a firm grip on the things they will and will not settle for or accept in life and other personal matters yet, can confuse you like a big bump in the road as they begin to tell you a story (or two or three or four) about how they wound up in bed disappointed with the lad by which they lay. No…not disappointed about his sexual style and play, but instead, disappointed by the “pipe” with which he lay.
For the love and sanity of men, thank goodness for the countless Diamonds who truly sex and subscribe to the quote: “It’s not the size of the boat but rather, the motion while in the ocean.” But for what I’m about to talk about…those gracious Diamonds are not the subject of this chapter tips’ segue. I’m talking about those Diamonds who are obsessively particular about the size of tool by which they will dine and grind (as a prerequisite). “Size Queens” is what they are referred to. It’s dirty little talk and secrets that we women have amongst one another, by which-varying opinions can run amok.
I chose to run by this particular subject as a segue into discussing how necessary it is for us to be true to ourselves because it is a perfect (and important) example in explaining how we end up in situations that could have been avoided when we do not stay true to (and stick to) our ideals about what we really want (and don’t want).
“Size Queens” are very adamant about wanting a particular length and/or girth on a man. They aren’t as concerned about “the motion while in the ocean.” They pretty much feel that while in; it will all work with the length and/or the girth. But what confuses me most is (as particular as they are about their expectations) how they end up going all the way-only to find out it was a far cry from meeting their expectations…
Sex is that beginning of things in a relationship that (after words), all can get weird or wonderful. Often times (when we have no expectations), we go at it on pleasure and faith. And whatever becomes of it-we take it (or deal with it) from there.
The “Size Queen” is not granted this excuse as easily. Because (as it goes back to this chapter tips’ lesson/title: “To Thy Self Be True”)…and well…to thy self be true why don’t you?.
When you expect a certain thing-don’t play around and stir the pot in hopes of finding what you are looking for to be there. When you expect something, simply stick your finger in it and taste it. If the ingredient you’re looking for is missing, wash your hands and keep it moving. As we’ll uncover in detail in Gem #7 “Dealing with Love and Life By Decision and Design,” you will see that as women-having a plan, and sticking to an ideal about what we want (and don’t want) in our lives is invaluable. It works miracles in our social and personal lives. We suffer the consequences when we settle, retract, or demand a recount.
The one thing about making a decision to stick to what we want (and don’t want) is that as it becomes more natural and comfortable to you, you will find that you are going to have to say (and do) some very bold things in order to undo (and prevent) some things. While they may not come as a shock to you, it will to other people (who do not understand, or could probably care less about your interest in self-preservation).
Where sex is concerned, the lips that we place upon the lips and body of a man are the same lips that we use to kiss the child[ren] that we have or will bear. The vagina that we allow him to enter is the very same vagina by which the child[ren] we have or will bare is designed to come out of.
When it comes to having an expectation or ideal regarding anything, our true test of how we will be able to control, and exercise self-control in other areas of our life, and our love life can too, be found-right there (in the middle of that test)…
So, if you are a “Size Queen” with that certain expectation, in the middle of the heat of the moment, you have to be crafty enough to
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