If You Won That $900 Million Dollar Lottery Tonight, With Whom (and How) Would You Know To Share Your Joy?
Sorry, but experts say your ticket to happiness won’t exactly be found in a 8/900 million dollar Powerball ticket and pretty much however you managed your emotions tied to money before an influx of cash is a good indicator of how you will manage-with it.
I can believe that as, I don’t care if its $800 million, $800 thousand, $80 thousand, $8 thousand or $80 dollars, if it’s more than what you had, needed (or felt your needed), my theory about money and people is, and has always been this: If you ever want to see the truth about a person’s person; put some money in his/her hand, wind ‘em up and watch’em go.
Obviously, an influx of cash flow (well over a specific, consistent amount to be able to pay bills and splurge a little bit here and there) is enough to alter a person’s emotions commensurate with the cash they have access to, or of.
But generally speaking, (I feel) that whatever ‘adjectives’ (or even verbs) that applied to you/your personality while living modestly will certainly turn up (and for some) ‘out,’ or inside out with access, influx and overflow.
I always say about “Scarface” (that one movie starring Al Pacino that pretty much all the world has seen), if anyone asked you to name reasons why everyone liked him/the movie so much; you would probably have a ton of reasons. My only answer however would be that (beneath whatever you said about him) it was because he was the same cocky, “cool,” smart-mouthed little man that he was as a broke dishwasher in Miami that he was when he rose to the top of his game and got rich. Who he was (broke) only “turned up” (rather than “out” or inside out). It was what he did (as a result of having access) that got him ‘turned out.’ Money itself, didn’t alter his ‘person.’
But back to life and reality.
According to Denver based non-profit organization: National Endowment for Financial Education’s Paul Golden, most people only focus on the euphoria of such a jackpot win yet very few are prepared for the anxiety, mistrust, guilt and the fear that comes along with the territory (of having large amounts of money like such). “The perception is that you’re never going to worry about money again. In fact, you’re going to have to worry about it more than you ever, ever have before,” he says.
Golden asserts that while the greatest predictor of how well people can/will manage their newfound money is how well they manage their emotions tied to it, these emotions can be challenging with such a sudden influx of cash as, dynamics in relationships with family, friends, and even strangers get…strange.
“All of a sudden you’re kind of a celebrity, and a celebrity that people want to take advantage of,” says Claremont McKenna professor of leadership and organizational psychology Ron Riggio. (Riggio has studied past to present lottery winners).
To that degree, Riggio makes a very good point as, the majority (if not all) people closest to you (family/friends) are so close to you that they rarely get to really see many aspects of your ‘fullness’ in HD—until you (or they) back up some and see you with the world/from the same lens as the world…
For most people (especially ones out here who are ‘grinding’/working towards something and are out here out ‘display’) many have, can, and do agree with me when I say that when you are merely ‘talking’ about what you want to do, you have allllllllll the encouragement and support in the world from your “family” and “friends.” Hell, you’ll even be known as “The Big Such and Such” among your friends and family without having made one move-just talking and dreaming..
It’s only when you begin to actually move…and make moves…is when the noise will stop-like a crescendo.
It’s only the ones who really meant and wished you well that continue to make noise for you, and [continue to] move with you while you grind with the weight of the world on your shoulders.
The ones who really didn’t mean or wish you well (or at least not before they made it in life) begin to fall back and try to act like they don’t or didn’t know about your “movement.” Those “family” and “friends” don’t make their presence known until the world of strangers know (meaning: Your come up has happened. The money and/or fame and ‘celebrity’ is here). And that’s when that old ‘congratulations’ and encouragement withheld resurfaces. But at that point, that group of (so called) “family” and (so called) “friends” are in ‘strange’ place with you and so begins the ‘strange’ dynamics in the relationships (understandably so), and if you’re smart (rightfully so, too).
It’s like Paul Golden said: “The greatest predictor of how well people can/will manage their newfound money is how well they manage their emotions tied to it.” True. Money is emotion/emotional-for anybody. Nothing is more important to an entrepreneur/creative/someone on their grind than sincerity, no drama, no underhandedness, no “weird energy,” no jealousy or combativeness; just the free flowing, non expensive support and encouragement at times when they had nothing but hope, one dollar and a dream. Missing out on the opportunity to be that for them is emotional. It’s like missing your graduation or wedding: there’s just no do-over. ‘Mistakes’ and unforeseen circumstances like missing a wedding or graduation can happen though. But electing not to be there for someone on their grind is not a mistake. That’s a choice.
Riggio made a very good point when he said “All of a sudden you’re kind of a celebrity, and a celebrity that people want to take advantage of.”
But to that I say, unlike the lottery winners he’s studied decades ago (through as recent at 2006), the fortunate thing about gauging the “family” and “friends” who you should automatically share your joy, winnings (and wins in life with) are those ones stayed by your side while you were ‘on display.’
Unfortunately, before the world changed such that playing fields were leveled like such (now) that (then) all you dreamt and talked about was just talk, that talk can be given legs to walk. And can now be put on ‘display.’
And those ‘levels’ of displays are like little “lottery” wins in your life (is how I can best chime in on and give an analogy for Golden and Riggio’s slants).
You see because, with the world being the way that it is right now (versus) lottery winners of old who had no hard core proof of family and friends who really loved and meant them well, all they had to go on was history and talk. Nowadays however, most have ‘walk.’ And walk meaning: Who (family and friends) is walking that walk with you?
Because if it’s true that you have to know your history/past in order to know your present, then it’s simple: Look at the people in your history and see if they’re present…right now.
There’s your answer.