Enjoy some chapter snippets on “Love” being the “devil’s advocate” and how “love” does when we ‘reach’ for it-when not ready (and not real) or too, when ready (and real).
As well check out the the Table of Contents and Introduction of the book FEEL LIKE A LADY, DEAL LIKE A MAN: Tips & Secrets on Everything from: Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men (to know what it is all about):
*ADULT READERS ONLY! NOT YET RELEASED
GEM 16.
It Takes a Fool To Learn That Love Don’t Love Nobody
“Love” is like “God”: an entity, a spirit. It is something that [those who believe in “God” or a higher power] knows exists, however Love or God is not something that we can just reach out and touch. We can talk to God and we can talk about Love, but neither will literally answer us back. As a result of that, we tend to think that the good or the bad, the coincidental, the incidental, the transcendental, the magical, the drastic or the spectacular happenings in Love or in Life are because of “Love” or because of “God,” that’s why I used as a segue: the comparison of Love and God-to lead you into this chapter.
Love is as “pure” and “righteous” as [we who believe-] believe God to be. So in that regard, whether or not we believe in God, we can all agree that Love is as sacred as, or can be compared to “God,” or as something godly.
LOVE MINDS ITS OWN BUSINESS
One thing about Love is that it minds its own business.
Love is like this piece of porcelain fine China placed high upon a mantle-sitting there and left alone. We sit it so high up because by any unfortunate situation or accident, we don’t want that piece to fall down and break, nor do we want it to be tampered with-so we guard and watch over it.
At the moment we feel spectacular and good and the coincidental, the incidental, the magical, and the drastic has gone transcendental; we climb high up on the ladder, reach for Love, and take our time walking sideways back down the ladder to ensure that if, or while during the fall-we won’t break it.
When we take Love from high off that mantle, like faith in “God;” we have to be “sure” that it really is “Love.” When it comes to love, the surest we can be is ‘pure’ about it.
With “love” sometimes, as women-we throw “Love” into the equation in order to avoid being labeled promiscuous, or loose (if what we are really doing is having casual sex in our relationships).
We’ll throw “Love” into the equation to avoid being lonely, and what we’ll do sometimes as make or allow ourselves to be available to men that otherwise (when we are confident and have high self-esteem) we would not allow to waste our time, or be in our lives. We’ll even return back to old relationships (that we know we don’t want) but in despair and loneliness-we’ll fall back into them in the name of “Love.”
We as women, are guilty of “relationshipping” in the name of “Love”-being untrue, when we have needs that we know can be fulfilled by a man (whom otherwise-if we did not need, he wouldn’t have a place in our lives).
In the name of “Love” we’ll take up with men and allow him in and share our whole with him-undeservedly-just to show our friends, family, our exes, and everybody that we now-have somebody who “loves” us-having not even allowed the relationship to mature to that level of truth. We’ll camouflage it with any and everything we can to make that man comfortable and make him want to stay-having no idea, or care [that like explained in the Introduction]: “Men Can Fake a Relationship For Years.” We don’t care-we just need to prove something to ourselves and other people. So we lay “Love” on top of all that may have never had a chance to mature and take its natural course.
Calling it “Love” we’ll play the game: “If You Can’t Be With the One You Love, Love the One You’re With,” knowing that we may be sacrificing our happiness or knowing full well that we are really just afraid to be alone and lonely. When our confidence and self-esteem are low, and we know that we are unclear or unsure a particular man is for us, we’ll go along with the ride in the name of love and taking a risk or trying something new-when we know that at a confident point in our lives, we otherwise would not be willing to waste our time on something we know we definitely do not want.
As an excuse for what may or may not be really “love” we love to lend to it-words like “take a chance,” take a risk,” etc., and while we do have to (or should) take risks with love, what Love will not accept from us is a lie.
Love needs the truth, at all costs, and by any means necessary. It has to have the truth. Not denial, not false pretenses, not loneliness, just TRUTH.
It knows.
Love knows all-on both sides: our side, and from the side of the man (if too, his intentions or reasons are flawed and unrighteous).
“Love” is like a prayer to God.
When we reach for it-it becomes a prayer.
That is why when we do [reach for it], no matter the chance or risk we take for Love, we cannot bring love along with us under the guise of anything other than what we know in our minds and hearts is really so. And if we do, Love will make fools of us. As well and too, if a man does bring anything to you under the guise of anything but love that is true (but tells you it is “Love”), the goings on in the relationship, your intuition and the lopsided way you find yourself feeling while trying to keep it in balance-will indeed happen.
Love does not like to be disturbed with bullshit.
Like God, we wouldn’t pray to God to allow us to have something for us in our lives but in order to do it, somebody has to get hurt, “but God still, please help me.” We don’t pray like that, do we?
Love is a great big devil’s advocate: It will lend itself for your use whenever you beckon and call. But just like prayer, Love is that same thing-something that although it will allow you to pick it up off the mantle-it will turn around and bite that ass just like the devil; letting you know it never was your advocate if you summoned it at any moment of desperation or neediness. And if false pretense of love was brought to you, “Love” will see to it that your boat is rocked-to let you know. And if you insist on ignoring the signs, it is you that will suffer.
You wouldn’t pray for God to be an accomplice on something for you that you know is not right simply because you “have to have it” would you?
“Love” too, is like “God.”
Love won’t bless bullshit any more than God will. Both “Love” and “God” are sacred-spiritual.
THE BEGINNING OF ANYTHING IS EVERYTHING: WHATEVER YOU DID TO GET YOUR MAN, IS WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO TO KEEP HIM
It’s not a question or debate as to: “oh so just because I’m going through this, or he’s taking me through that-I’m supposed to just bail out and we’ve been together for ____ many months/years.”
Well, with men, don’t forget the lesson in the Introduction: “Women Can Fake Orgasms But Men Can Fake a Whole Entire Relationship (For Years).” Time-keeping is a thing that’s mostly important to Women. We begin time-keeping the moment we feel a man has turned our liking him to loving him based upon what we think has now made what we have or what we do with them is “love.”
Important Note: No matter what we are doing with a man in the “relationship” a woman should never start “time-keeping” until he is doing what I mention throughout the next chapter: Gem # 17 where I talk about how when it’s really real for a man, if he is not in a position to building for you-he is trying to build with you (50-50).
A lot of times as women, because a man is a master-survivalist when it comes to love and women, a woman can be in (what she thinks) is a “relationship” with a man and feel that the motions and the ups and downs that she goes through with him is a part of what just “happens” in relationships.
No, rewind and allow me to rephrase that:
A lot of what we as women go through with men have to do with how it began. Think
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SNIPPETS from FEEL LIKE A LADY, DEAL LIKE A MAN: Tips & Secrets on Everything from: Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men AND FOUND THEM USEFUL!
Tap in to more on another excerpt (Gem 15) Sign Your Name Across My Heart I Want You to be My Baby
P.S. Yeah, I know of the Spinners’ version but Eric Clapton gets his version on this posts because he played with my Grandad *sticks tongue out*
