with/choose our friends that we are close to-to varying degrees.
In considering choice versus coincidence (and effort versus apathy); you being kin to me doesn’tautomatically make us “friends.”
Unfortunately, there are no written rules other than the fact that as family or you being kin to me, yes, I should be able to confide things in you, you know certain things about me, or need things from and of you that and vice versa that (unlike someone not kin to me), those things kinda sorta should be “automatic.”
In a perfect world of family, that would be right and true, but the reality is-that also sounds like inalienable rights and expectations friends have among one another too.
So, to some degree, we need be friends with family (in order to expect some things). But by DEFAULT, care for the health well being of our family over that of a friend–til death does that part.
‘Family’ to me, is like my theory on marriage.
I don’t believe in marrying from love and lust. You cannot marry me on my “pretty face,” “cute butt,” “sexy body,” “good lovin'” or even my “intelligence,” “versatility,” being “well-versed” or any other redeeming quality outside of a physical attribute.
Acumen is key for me-first (and something you can ascertain about a person even before their love for you).
I believe in the sanctity of marriage as a kind love two people should have for one another such that it is a “business”—a business such that we are going to put 50-50 into the relationship and either grow a literal business together, or grow one another like a business: To marry for richer or poorer, life and death…to have the kind of love and care for another that we are each other’s protector such that if either of us dies or is dyING…we’ve got the other to oversee that through ‘til we take our last breaths.
Now IF we just so happen to be in love, and/or lust one another—that’s the bonus (and even better obviously), but I won’t marry you for that reason (love/lust) first and ONLY. I will marry you because we’ve grown like the latter-serious business.
I feel that if more people married with that agreement and realization in mind (first), they would rely less on the first hand (temporary) emotion of marrying just because we’re in love (which, over time dwindles)-because those beginnings of those things fade from that initial high to a normalcy (over time). You can’t marry solely on such a weak foundation and agreement of
