Young Honeymooner’s Online Plans To Become ISIS Members Thwarted While On Route To SYRIA

Jaeyn Muhammad


I’m gonna be the first to say it and because in black culture we all know who they are and can point’em out while we suck our teeth, stretch our nostrils and roll our eyes as I (say this Scandal-fast):

It’s nothing worse than that oneeee ‘black’ black girl who’s had one-too many bad experiences within the black race and the world and goes and super-duper ooly-calistically-extra-allidcoiously educates herself then uses it as social class weaponry and in turn: (in rebellion of the “sew-in”) mounts up on every “secret hair” clipping for a weave and adorn herself with that snatch-back and push-up hairdo, won’t let go of that horrid, high school Wet and Wild fuscia lipstick tube (they first fell in love with) then later dresses herself in Leslie Faye coordinates, wears flats with the ‘designer’ name in cursive called “Lizzies” and overly pronunciates simple words like ‘water,’ while talking to you as she blinks her eyes a million times as if can’t understand a word your a$$ is saying (that later-especially after that one non black guy tells her she’s educated and beautiful and wants to take a chance on marrying her) turns enemy #1 to all the world outside of the one she delegates to be apart of hers in her own mind and life.


Meet Jaelyn Deshuan Young, 20, (pictured here with that same classic condescending smirk describing that same type of girl I just explained), along with her new husband Muhammad Oda Dakhlalla, 22, who together, decided to unify their love and holy matrimony with war as the two set out to wisp and honeymoon away to ISIS terrorism and oblivion-never to return to American soil again.

Look. I get it.

Nothing sent more knock down, drag out movie-like scenes in my head than hearing about some guy who made out of the bottom of some dirty, prison hell hole and rode out to sunset from miles long of well-lit underground rock to freedom and oblivion, takes an Instagram pic and still has yet to be found.

How badass! Hell. I wanted to be down!

Where do I sign up dammit! Come get me! I’m packed!

…but then I saw all those sites with literal heads

Author: OSFMagWriter

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