It was reported last week: “Wu-Tang Member Cuts Off His Penis and Jumps From Building,” and although the penis couldn’t be re-attached, we’re going to do our best to piece this kooky story together as erect and straight up as we can.
So the headlines read [something to that effect] and I’m sure as you read [that the penis could not be reattached] obviously that tells you the man lived [after jumping off the building penis-less].
What-had-happened-was…it was originally reported that no drugs were in the guys’ system and too-he was a Wu-Tang member.
Let’s clear 2 things up (according to later reports hence, why when you blog; you gotta hold out a day or two on stories like this):
1) drugs (PCP) were indeed found in his system
2) he is not “a member of the Wu-Tang” group
Whether or not the reports of the guy [and subject of this write-up: Andre Johnson] suffers from mental illness, or the attempted suicide was because of drugs (PCP) is still up in the air. We do know however, that…what-had-happened was…he obviously hallucinated, cut off his penis, and proceeded to jump from the second floor balcony of a North Hollywood apartment building around 1 a.m. last Wednesday. Although he responded: “ok” when an attempt to apprehend him was futile; he proceeded to jump anyways.
According to onlookers, by the time they made it down to the ground floor (to help Johnson), he was on his feet, running around and screaming.
News of Johnson being “a member of the Wu-Tang Clan” got back to the actual members of the Wu-Tang-Clan, and they did not take this rumored association and connection to their brand/group to lightly. They wanted to make this clear:
- Johnson (whose stage name was “Christ Bearer”) was a member of a group called Northstar.
- Northstar was a group who Wu-Tang rapper and producer RZA discovered way back in 1998.
- RZA produced their (Northstar)’s 2004 debut album called “RZA Presents Northstar.”
…That’s it, no other connection.
According to our source, Wu-Tang Clan’s source responded: “While we wish the guy good luck and hope this is not a mental health problem of some sort, we hope he gets help as this is not regular behavior. If this behavior is attributed to drugs of such we hope he gets help in this as well. However none of this is Of Tribute to the Wutang clan movement, way of life or legacy.”
TRANSLATION: “We only smoke trees and killer around these parts and we don’t cut our parts. And we’on know homie.”
That “connection” is now clarified and cut, and as well, although his penis was unable to be reattached; Johnson lived and posted a message on his Facebook page [that he feels] “blessed.” That message, too, was…cut.
So..like we said at the beginning of this write-up: we were going to do our best to piece this story together.
All things, cut-sidered…How’d we do?
Media Maestro .
Writing Rhinoceros .