Should We Beg His Pardon? The NEW YORK TIMES Spill Full Deposition Deets on COSBY: The Eerie Reasons BILL COSBY Doesn’t See Rape or Wrong in Anything He Did




ConstandCosbyMore icing on the cake of Bill Cosby’s 2005 deposition got released and into the hands of the New York Times. Even knowing this was a legal deposition, Cosby pretty much did that thing men do: With given permission to get comfortable-romance their conquests and pump their sexual prowess–like locker room jocks being gathered in flocks with statements like:

“I think I’m a pretty decent reader of people and their emotions in these romantic sexual things, whatever you want to call them,” he said.

The greatest majority of the deposition focuses on the one who got away: From Cosby and [with] the pay day (by which the remaining 30+ women are accused of seeking): Andrea Constand-the Temple University student who, according to the deposition, Cosby (despite being married since 1964) was instantly attracted to and…(‘read her emotion in these romantic things…whatever you call them’).

When asked of this pursuit of Constand, Cosby copped to the following [statement]:

“Inviting her to my house, talking to her about personal situations dealing with her life, growth, education.”

Although the relationship started out as that of mentor-mentee—positioning himself in her life as an ‘experienced guide’ that could lead her to the truth, the light and the way via his contacts and fame.

Their connection was eventually shrouded by Cosby being frustrated by Constand failng to following his advice e.g-pursuing he interest in sports broadcasting and her neglecting to call someone he recommended she call.

“Here’s a mentor, Bill Cosby, who is in the business, Bill Cosby, who happens to know something about what to do and Andrea is not picking up on it,” he said (in the deposition).

Although Cosby’s rendition was that of patience and persistence, in all his ‘decent reading of people and their emotions in these romantic sexual situations,” he was obviously reading from a different page as Constand as, she ultimately took her complaints about Cosby’s behavior to the police.

393221_ccoAll that, however, was long after the courtship they had early on where on one occasion he described the arrangement he made for an intimate meal alone at his Pennsylvania home-complete with dim lights and Cognac by a fire. Cosby describes leading her to his back porch out of his chef’s sight so that he could not see what Cosby was ‘cooking.’

The ingredients as explained by Cosby contained the following:

“I take her hair and I pull it back and I have her face like this…and I’m talking to her …and I talked to her about relaxing, being strong. And I said to her, come in, meaning her body.”

Despite the “romantic moment” the two were inches apart where Cosby admits not trying to kiss her because his senses told him that she did not want him. <——-KEY #1–WE WILL COME BACK TO THIS

The next dinner was different however. It was at this one he described their moment as “sexual” (short of intercourse) and described her afterwards as having a “glow.”

(Hmmm. I’m guessing yous can guess what happened there right?)

Ok, moving right along about Cosby’s prowess-he stated he refrained from having intercourse [with women in general] because he did not want women to fall in love with him and when asked if he was in love with Constand, he replied “No.”

His philosophy regarding sexual intercourse [in his words] was: “something that I feel the woman will succumb to more of a romance and more of a feeling, not love, but it’s deeper than a playful situation” by which he describes his and Constand’s situation such that they were [quote] “playing sex, we’re playing, petting, we’re playing” [unquote].

Although these details are indeed consensual acts between Cosby and Constand as, this courtship had gone on for a few years—that is…until one night at his Pennsylvania home when Cosby drugged and ‘molested’ her.

“To relieve stress,” Cosby admitted to giving her one and a half tablets of Benadryl. They then kissed and “had sexual contact.”


Constand’s lawyer believed it was much more a powerful drug that some Benadryl…



A short time after, Constand moved back home to Canada where Cosby had spoken to the mother on the phone who was informed about the details of Andrea’s her dealings with Cosby whereby the mom described as “a mother’s nightmare.”

In the deposition, Cosby admitted to becoming concerned mom would think Dr. Huxtable was nothing but he was [quote] ‘a dirty old man.’

During the phone call with Andrea Constand’s mother, Cosby admitted deposing lawyers he wanted Constand to “tell her mother about the orgasm” (so that she could realized it was consensual).

“Tell your mother about the orgasm. Tell your mother how we talked,” he said he remembered thinking. <——-KEY #2–WE WILL COME BACK TO THIS

Afterwards, out of concern that Constand and her mother would seek to embarrass him, he offered to help pay to further Constand’s education.

Although it was never disclosed whether or not Constand and her mother took Cosby up on that offer or no, the deposition did note that yeas earlier, Cosby offered to reward Therese Serignese-a woman he met at the Las Vegas Hilton in 1976-money as a bonus for good grades.


With that being the case, this brings back that old case that came out and got swept under the rug where Cosby was accused of fathering a child (Autumn Jackson) with a woman (Shawn Upshaw).

When Autumn got older, she and her mother eventually sought to extort Cosby (which, if my memory serves me correct, didn’t go over too well in their favor). Remember that?


The Daily Mail reported:

In 1997, Autumn Jackson, then 22, came forward to say she was Cosby’s illegitimate child from an affair the comedian had with her mother, Shawn Upshaw.

Jackson made the claims just days after the Cosbys’ only son Ennis was shot and killed on a Los Angeles freeway on January 17, 1997 aged just 27.

Though Cosby admitted to having an affair with Upshaw – he would tell TV interviewer Dan Rather it was a ‘rendezvous’ – he maintained that Jackson was not his child.

Jackson was later convicted on charges of extortion for threatening to take her story to the tabloids unless Cosby paid her $40 million.

Asked by Oprah Winfrey in 2010 how the couple had weathered the storm of the entertainer’s infidelity, Camille Cosby admitted she had known about her husband’s affair with Upshaw ‘back in the Seventies’.

Camille told how she had asked her husband to take a DNA test to be certain he was not the father of Jackson – saying if he had not, ‘Autumn Jackson and her cohorts could continue with their story.’

Discussing a time when the Cosbys had focused on ‘selfish needs’, Camille said: ‘We were both young. We had to go through a lot. It’s difficult to learn to live with somebody, to be unselfish and to be responsible for your behavior – and even to think how you hurt others if you do certain things. ‘You go through a transition, if you are committed to each other. You cleanse yourself of all of that baggage, and you look at each other and determine whether the relationship is worth salvaging, whether you really love each other and want to be together.‘Then you realize, ‘Wait a minute. I might have been doing this because I just didn’t want to think about how this would affect the other person or to allow myself to love someone with emotional intimacy’.’


Having been married since 1964, it’s no wonder his wife Camille Cosby wouldn’t have known anything. But Bill Cosby went through great lengths to keep her in the dark. The New York Times states:images (11)

It is difficult to say to what extent Mr. Cosby’s wife, Camille, was aware of her husband’s womanizing, though it was certainly clear to her by 1997, when Mr. Cosby acknowledged an affair. Mrs. Cosby suggested at the time that there had been marital problems but they had put them behind them.

Still, in the deposition, Mr. Cosby, 78, described going to some lengths to hide his behavior, blocking a magazine article to avoid publicity and funneling money to one woman through his agent so “Mrs. Cosby” wouldn’t find out.

In the case of Ms. Constand, who never sought any funds, Mr. Cosby said he imagined his wife would have known he was helping with her education. But, he said, “My wife would not know it was because Andrea and I had had sex and that Andrea was now very, very upset and that she decided that she would like to go to school.”

With regard to giving women drugs, (as per the deposition) they explain:

While Mr. Cosby insisted the only drug he had given Ms. Constand was Benadryl, he was open about his access in the 1970s to quaaludes, a sedative also popular as a party drug.

He said he obtained seven prescriptions for them over two to three years from a doctor in Los Angeles, ostensibly for a sore back but in reality to give to women.

He admitted to giving young women Quaaludes at that time “the same as a person would say have a drink,” he said, but not without their knowledge.

Though he portrayed the drug-taking and sex as consensual, Mr. Cosby — when asked whether Ms. Serignese was in a position to consent to sexual intercourse after he gave her quaaludes in 1976 — said: “I don’t know.”

Joseph Cammarata, a lawyer for Ms. Serignese and two other women who are suing Mr. Cosby for defamation, said of the deposition: “This information is important because it sheds light on the private practices of a man who holds himself out as a public moralist.”

Additionally, which too, offers quite the glimpse into Cosby’s state of mind and helped me better understand where (in his mind) he felt he wasn’t guilty (which I will summarize after you read this last passage reported by the New York Times:

andrea-constand-768During the questioning, Mr. Cosby cast himself as a sensitive and attentive supporter of Ms. Constand, though his tone changed when addressing Ms. Constand in the present tense.

Asked by Ms. Constand’s lawyer about how he felt when Ms. Constand cried during her own deposition, Mr. Cosby was unsparing: “I think Andrea is a liar and I know she’s a liar because I was there. I was there.”

And he could be dispassionate in recalling former relationships. With a woman named Beth Ferrier, a model he met in the 1980s, he recalled inquiring after her career and her father, who had died of cancer.

“Did you ask her those questions because you wanted to have sexual contact with her?” Ms. Troiani asked.

“Yes,” Mr. Cosby responded.

Still, he said he viewed himself as a good person, worthy of trust, and chivalrous in his desire to never tell others about the women with whom he had sex.

“I am a man, the only way you will hear about who I had sex with is from the person I had it with,” he said.

In some passages, Mr. Cosby offered a glimpse into a life long insulated by perks and wealth. Some idiosyncrasies are revealed, like his penchant for sweatpants (he had at least 100, he said), how he used the name Seymour Rapaport as an alias in the 1970s and 1980s when he traveled, and how many of his employees signed confidentiality agreements.

In the deposition, Mr. Cosby described sexual liaisons — he sometimes calls them rendezvous — with at least five women, and having a “romantic” interest in two more, in locations like Denver, Las Vegas and New York and Pennsylvania, in hotels or in one of his homes.

In the court case, 13 women came forward with anonymous sworn statements to support Ms. Constand, saying that they, too, had been molested in some way by Mr. Cosby. But they never had a chance to pursue their claims in court because, six months after the fourth and final day of his deposition, Mr. Cosby settled the case with Ms. Constand on undisclosed terms. His deposition was filed away, another document in a settled court case, until now.

This is Andrea Constand, now:

Andra Constand today

What Went Wrong: Why Bill Cosby Doesn’t See Where He Was Wrong in Any of This+Where Consent Quickly Turned To ‘Rape’

The way Bill Cosby romanced his connection with Andrea Constand (in his mind) told alot about his thinking-the wrong in it. And along with other details in the deposition, clues into where his wrong thinking is with women [in relation to his courtships-sexual or intimate]. It is this frame of thinking that (as per this the things he said in this full deposition) that spoke volumes never been discussed or understood.

So let’s talk.

It was obvious that Constand was aware that Cosby’s interest in her far extended a professional, mentor-mentee relationship and she DID consent (Quaalude-free) to allowing oral sex be performed on her by Cosby who, as he explains about their first encounter; he could tell she did not want to be sexually intimate with him (despite how personally intimate they were-off and alone, away from the chef).

It was the point where Cosby claimed she had a “glow” after this “orgasm” she had (as a result of him obviously having performed cunniligus on her) that somehow told him it was okay to have his way with her body.


There in began his first problem.

Without even taking into consideration this “glow” probably had much adieu with the fact that after orgasm (especially cunnilgus) we women are “flushed.” And our blood vessels at the business below are sending all kinds of sensations throughout our bodies.

That “glow” (resulting from that orgasm) didn’t exactly mean he she was willing to have sex with him (upon their next encounter).

The problem stemming from that is, to eliminate any possible rejection or hesitation of her willingness to consent to actual sexual intercourse (like on their first date when he stated):  “I take her hair and I pull it back and I have her face like this…and I’m talking to her …and I talked to her about relaxing, being strong. And I said to her, come in, meaning her body.”

…Cosby considered the fact that she (consciously) consented to allowing him to perform oral sex on her, [that] it was okay (somehow) to slip something into her drink to have his way with her they way HE wanted to (without having to deal with her not being accommodating with having actual sex.

It’s obvious, where in the deposition he explains when talking to her mother, he kept wanting Andrea Constand to “tell about the orgasm.”<—-POIGNANT CLUE INTO HIS ‘WRONG’ THINKING. 

STEP 1 –->That’s because that was the moment he took his special brand of [quote] being ‘a pretty decent reader of people and their emotions in these romantic sexual things, whatever you want to call them’ [unquote]

STEP 2 –>Next…that leads him into believing that once he worked his “magic” followed by their willingness to be alone with him (whether cunniligus, fondling, kissing, or whatever took place with these other women)-the feeling is ‘mutual.’

Bill Cosby considered both those two steps as his [own personal] permission to have his way with their bodies. In HIS mind, sex with these unconscious women, was consensual (because he had been given permission to be intimate with them in some way while they were conscious).video-undefined-233C9D3000000578-568_638x364

STEP 3–> By doing away with facing possible rejection at that the point of sexual intercourse, or as per Cosby’s words, ‘he refrained from having intercourse with women in general because he did not want women to fall in love with him,’ he figured: to avoid being told no or deal with what (if any) emotional repercussions there would be afterwards; he’d simply slip these women (again-who were okay with being intimate with him and in an intimate setting with him) a Quaalude—in order to get what he wanted out of the deal: sexual intercourse….and THAT is the part where “rape” comes into this: The fact that regardless their permission to allow him to perform oral sex, or (in his words):  “playing sex” or “petting,” sexual intercourse is such that woman must be coherent in order to consent.

THAT is the part Bill Cosby took from Andrea Constand (and these other women)—the option to say “no” to sexual intercourse.

THAT is the part where he officially “raped” them.

HIS MIND says otherwise because of all that may have been was allowed or permitted consciously and with consent (before intercourse was with them-unconsciously–without them having given him consent to have them in that way).



His “unknowing” is like the equivalent of a ‘normal functioning’ and otherwise intelligent co-worker being overheard telling his/her coworker friend about their hot night last night.

Should another coworker be close enough to hear these hot deets, that is considered ‘sexual harassment’ –to that person overhearing you talk about your ‘hot night.’ So congratulations….You just walked yourself right into  a lawsuit.

When you get pulled into HR for “sexually harassing” another coworker, you’ll be like: “How is that sexual harassment? I was just telling my friend about my gf/bf coming over last night. I mean, if they thought what I said was inappropriate-I can see that, but sexual harassment…nah.”

No dear. Considering the setting/place and the conversation; yes–your conversation was inappropriate…But it’s also sexual harrassment because you can’t put those things off onto somebody not asking to be apart of that experience.

Same thing here (with Cosby’s ‘unknowing’).


As you can see (at the beginning, I started out with satirical rhetoric), but as I started reading and writing into it, I realized: No grown man in a right or correct from of mind and thinking could ever say these things in a legally binding deposition if he knew what he did was wrong.

Scroll back up and listen to those 3 “Spanish Fly” references he makes (especially the one about being fascinated with the power of the drug when he was 13 years old). It’s obvious he has carried that same frame of thinking into adulthood….because no man (in a right or correct frame of mind) would be so fascinated with Spanish Fly that-mind interview-he would bait a talk show host into giving him the floor for a second to joke about a drug he was obviously fascinated with since age 13….and officially using on women during the very time of that very interview!

It’s no wonder Bill Cosby thought he did nothing wrong…because he actually thought he did nothing wrong.

He’s pretty much guilty of not knowing he was guilty about doing things he actually didn’t think was wrong.

Truthfully-after reading this thoroughly (with my jaw dropped at how innocently ‘okay’ he actually THOUGHT this all was); it’s terrible these women had to go through this but in some strange way, I kinda-sorta beg his pardon. He had one thing going on in his mind (about his power to read their nonverbal cues), and where they consented in one or many other ‘intimate’ ways (to varying extents) be it getting cozy, “petting,” “playing sex”, fondling, kissing, masturbation, or whatever; his mind told him that all is a go after the hunt, and the play (or foreplay).

Author: OSFMagWriter

Spitfire . Media Maestro . Writing Rhinoceros .