In this one, there are 3 sides to the story:
The Back Story.
The Front Story.
The Ghost Story.
Ok, so… the back story is this:
On Monday, January 6, singer Rihanna took to the Internet to participate in social media’s new age way to flirt, get a retweet/repost, (or to even be taken seriously) called #MCM (for: Man Crush Monday), where the ladies wait in shame, vain, or with good game post who their object of #MCM desire is and they either wait, or keep in moving [if it means nothing past “I think this guy is cute”].
The male opportunity to do the same is on Wednesdays, and referred to as #WCW.
Well, On January 6, 2014 on her Instagram, Rihanna posted a photo of a guy with a stark-raving resemblance to Chris Brown: Philadelphia Eagles’ linebacker Mychal Kendricks. Along with the picture she wrote: “Is it Monday? Cuz chhh …#MCM,” but according to our source, (at that time) Kendricks fumbled- “didn’t seem too thrilled about it.” His teammates joked about [the photo and post sent out by Rihanna], and when asked if he would ever like to meet “badgallriri” he replied: “I don’t want to talk about this.”
The Front Story:
Well, time passed and by some stroke of punt; Kendricks obviously had a change of heart, and somehow, thing went from 0 to 60 one fine day.
While out signing autographs just recently, Kendricks was asked [about Rihanna’s public adoration of him], he said that he was “flabbergasted” and that it was “flattering.” Additionally, he stated he had (quote) “been trying to reach out but..” (unquote).
Check the 1:30 minute video tape of what he had to say, here:
The Ghost Story:
His reply (on the video): “If she has my number…I’ve been trying to reach out but…” when asked can she give him a call –it sounds to us that he may have slipped her his number behind the back walls of Instagram but has yet to hear back from the singer.
Well, under normal closer circumstances (like-out in the physical/tangible world) your resident Intimacist (yours truly), does not recommend a girl approaching a guy to initiate making moves he should make if he’s indeed interested in her. Why not? Because just that: His initiation is an indicator of his interest and sometimes, in some connections turned relationships; that initial interest (unfortunately for some women), may be thee one [or only thing] she has to hold on to that he is, or at one time-was truly interested in her.
So, do I think Rihanna is playing her cards right?
Yes. I do. Definitely.
She’s got this thing cornered and safe (for her public ego, and her personally heart). After all, a #MCM (or #WCW) posting doesn’t always mean: “I want to date you,” it also simply means: “I think you’re (he/ or she) is cute,” PERIOD. DOT.
Unlike out in the tangible/physical world (and the days before social media) we needn’t belabor the obvious: times have changed, and we certainly have to upgrade our flirt game to suit these times. However, a change in times does not change the male psyche and threshold of desirability for [a/the/that] woman [of/over/above all] other women out here (especially nowadays)…
So having said that, a woman’s crown (or tiara) should always sit up straight-right on the top of her head, never caught leaning to the side (or turned to the back)…
Having said that, when Rihanna put it out there to the public in this awesome new age way to flirt, to her advantage, it could very well have been a simple: “I think this guy is cute.”
BUT, as well, if it was bait, the fact of the matter is (again): she put it out there for all the world to see…And in this new age dating game, for any woman (in a case like that), a reply back must come with two things:
- Timeliness (short umbrella of time to return the gesture)
- Reciprocity (the returned gesture-no matter who grandiose-should match the gesture)
… “Timeliness” meaning: “This is a limited time offer.”
Because the fact of the matter is, a woman should never give it all away (in the beginning, or during). All “giving all away” is best reserved for the man who marries her. Until then, to maintain her female power, mystique, and desirability, there should be an UMBRELLA of time any woman should allow for that male to bite her bait or flirt (whether out in the tangible/physical world or online).
And especially online…if she puts herself out there publicly…(as well), he should too. Because after all, if it wasn’t for the above-posted video tape, many of us (in the public) would have never known of his being interested in Rihanna (as well).
I mean after all, the cutest way (not to mention-a very timely way) would have been on that following Wednesday (two days later from her #MCM); his returning the flirt (out in public)–by her being his #WCW.
Well, he didn’t do that…
As your resident Intimacist, I know you ask: “Why would not doing that mean anything?”
Because if you (as a woman) put yourself out there and he reciprocates in the same public manner, and does it in a timely manner (rather than sneak up on you in the back walls); that clears the way for two things:
A) the fact that it is evident and literally clear that he is single (very important)
B) the fact that he is definitely interested and mirrored your public adoration of him, for you—just the same (extremely important)
Fixes posture. Buckles knees tightly. Turns’em to the side. Looks down at my diamond-coated storybook, and fixes my tiara up on my head nice and straight, while I bat my lashes and turns the page
LADIES, IF YOU RETAIN NOTHING ELSE, REMEMBER THIS ONE VITAL THING:
The foundation of anything is EVERYTHING…Sometimes (unfortunately) the initial interest and pursuit of you in the beginning-that foundation-is all you’re going to get in the “fairytale” of a relationship (for some women who allow themselves to be treated less than for the sake of having a man/a relationship). Those initial things done to get you may be your ONLY:
Having “waited to exhale”
Climax/Highlight/Memory of being made to feel loved, adored, and wanted
…because (no matter HOW beautiful, rich, talented, famous, good in bed, sexy, intelligent-or even how good a woman you are to HIM)…there is NO GUARANTEE that even after having pursued you, he is going to do those things (or better things) to keep you.
Flesh is flesh. Man is Man.
So for YOUR self-esteem, confidence, security, power, and hearts sake: MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT TAKE OFF OR UP WITH A MAN UNLESS YOU GET THAT. It’s more necessary than you think… It will keep your self-esteem in tact regardless whatever becomes of the relationship. I promise you. Because at least if you have that moment of being wanted and pursued, no matter what becomes of the connection or relationship, you’re not wiped of everything-up to and including having played yourself by pursuing him—and he left, and/or treated you bad (or even at one time-good) anyway.
KEEP that girly-girl tradition and make it a priority in your dealings with men (no matter how you flirt). Don’t pursue. Even if you’re not pursued, but want him: BAIT him (with an umbrella of time and reciprocity), but don’t pursue him.