Posted in ALL write-ups, blogs, and pods at OtherSideoftheFame.com, Entertainment: Popular Culture (Reality Television)

{Girl Talk: Teen Mom Pressure} VH1’s TEEN MOM FARRAH ABRAHAM’s Ode to Her Haters: A New Music Video

Author:  Published Date: 10 years ago


Choice and Option. She had choices and options.

Unfortunately, many girls who are all across the Internet and the world have no other options (skills, talents, marketability or otherwise) in order to “Finally Get From the Bottom,” and for them, some Lord Un-mighty opened the pearly gates of the Internet to freedom and claims to fame. By way of its countless free platforms [by which they feel makes them a “success”] they are currently getting a life, fame, and fortune for nothing but by either being, acting like/pretending to be easy and available.

Although many judge them for their countless antics and self-respect that they chose to cash in for “Likes” many of these poor lambs being lead to slaughter see what they are doing as “success” and “opportunity.” For them (unlike Farrah) that’s all they have to fight with for their chance to “Finally Get From the Bottom.”

Even with Farrah Abraham’s voice and talent (thus far) proving far beyond questionable; (unlike many other girls cashing in their self-respect trying to be famous) she at LEAST got a head start from being on a reality show for teen moms which from there, opened up countless opportunities IN THAT MARKET-the “mom” market. She didn’t have to choose to Strumpetville U.S.A.

The mom market is so rampant and FILLED with mom of young daughters in search of their peers’ cautionary tales of stories to scare them straight.

The mom market is FILLED with disappointed moms clicking onto the Internet only to find their young daughters peers half naked and twerking for boys for likes on the Internet.

The mom market it FILLED with teen moms hiding behind the Internet feeling like life is passing them by simply because of the hedonism being promoted, revered, and getting life and livings out here.

I could go on and on, but the bottom line is, the market is forever needed, available and lucrative. All you have to do is be there, be willing and be vulnerable: stand there and tell, or write your story-the audience is already there, you don’t even have to “build a fan base” –they are right there waiting to hear, buy, and listen to whatever it is you have to say, reveal or sell (unlike most all other things that are/or is seemingly “successful”).

Trust me, I’m aware…I’m not judging. I’m guilty too. My selfish desire to write about and make a career about all that I wanted to (and am doing) had NOTHING to do with “the mom market”—and everything I just said applies to me TOO. I, with my teen mom days behind me now-felt like it’s no longer my problem now so…shoulder shrug But the fact of the matter is-it’s someone else’s problem and ’til the end of time-it’s going to be. But still, I bypassed it. So Farrah bypassing the “Mom market” and jumping to Strumpetville USA is no different than my bypassing it [to do “me”]. Those SAME moms and young girls that need Farrah, need me too. But I can admit (alongside my selfishness) I wasn’t willing to be vulnerable enough to stand from behind my written words to embrace the teen mom market –even KNOWING in the back of my head that teen moms and moms of teens girls could sure use me, use my stories and use what I have to say about that life. But like Farrah-I ignored it. I bypassed it.

I have a short story that I will confess (since we’re here).

Last summer like quite a few times, something in the universe has made its way around to nudge me and try and get my attention [to that market] and I ignore it-purposely. But again, although I can be honest about my reason why; it doesn’t make it “right” (especially when I know that a lot of parents and teen mom’s need me). Not even the “lucrative market” enticed me. My unwillingness to be vulnerable trumped that. It just did. I’m honest. I’m not always so readily moved by profitabilty if it’s not aligned with my feeling (especially where other people’s lives are concerned). I mean, you’re talking to a girl who went to college and spent the greatest majority of her credit hours majoring in a course that by the time I decided I wanted to do with my life (which was in arts and creativity versus science and social work) I found that I wasted over 100 credit hours of monies because I didn’t want to go into the field I was majoring in KNOWING lives were at stake and my KNOWING that I was much too preoccupied with my own life. I KNEW (later on-when I got real with myself), I couldn’t be as dedicated to these people’s lives stacked up on papers on my desk as I KNOW I should be, so I never worked in my field because of that. I changed my major and basically had to do four years of college-twice). I felt guilty about it for a long time. But my then BFF Stephanie (who too, was in the same field) said something to me that made feel a lot better about my indecision turned decision. She said: “Angie. Don’t feel bad. I actually commend you for not getting into this field knowing that you couldn’t give these people 100% of your mind and time. Me knowing you, I know you’ll give them your heart, but this job far extends past 5 p.m. and I think it’s commendable that you chose not to take that on-for your reason rather than the latter.”)

At any rate.



 

I follow a singer by the name of Olivia. End of summer (2013) she was happily involved in some kind of teen mom summit that I found myself getting “territorially” jealous and about it (because in my head, not knowing if she herself, was a teen parent or no). Although I was happy that her celebrity influence was useful, I was concerned that having not experienced it, there was no way she could really feel their plight and understand that life. Yet, in my sense of sensibilities and heart of hearts, I knew I had to chill down because the bottom line was what I had to say to myself: “What are you worried it for-you aint checking up on it and lending the value YOU have to offer to the cause-so shut your mind. At least she’s doing it!” (I’m real with myself. I don’t carry on silly head thoughts. I talk to myself, but I answer myself back, too)…

At any rate, I’ll never forget:

Even despite my seeing these tweets (that felt like a nudge at my soul), I still turned away:

But since we’re on the subject, I may as well confess this too (where and why I backed off and made the decision to bypass the “mom”/ “teen mom” market).  Flat out and in all honesty: I lost faith in teens of today. Let me explain:

It used to be a time that our parents would complain about us only aspiring to be ball players, rappers, and things like that. If you were a teen at one time (before the past 5/6 years that the Internet was made available to the public in such a way-like today) and you wanted to be a lawyer, doctor, or even a police officer or fireman; you were revered and thought to be on your way to greatness.  Then all of a sudden, the Internet opened itself up in ways that had teens no longer even wanting to be ball players and rappers (much less doctors, lawyers, police officers and firemen)-they all of a sudden just grasped onto and did all things conducive to the occupation now called: “Want To Be Famous.”  That’s it. Being the interested observant, conversationalist and listener that I am (especially of children, tweens and teenagers), as a writer, I’m at libraries a lot. And the conversations I’ve had with these 3 groups of kids has astonished me. Its astonished me that just seven years ago they aspired to be ball players, doctors, lawyers, police officers and firemen etc., to now [when I’m talking to these children, tweens and teens] they ALL want a reality show, occupation: “Be Famous.” My mouth has hit the floor a lot-I must say. I may talk to one per week that still may mention wanting to be anything non-famous, but not often.

So when I experience that, therefore-assess that, then I see just that: online, television, and in person (as much as I have), the fact that I can do a clear chart in my mind of the descending aspirations to be anything other than “famous”; I didn’t even care about reaching teens anymore. So that’s the 50% truth in my other 50%  of not willing to be vulnerable enough to share and help.

My point with that and this teen mom write up is regardless my reasons-the fact of all the matters was still: I was unwilling. So my unwillingness to be vulnerable (therefore bypassing the market) was no different than Farrah’s willingness to bypass the market and delve into her selfish shallow wants. And although she bypassed the “mom market” [that too, would have given her the same thing she is after: “fame”]; to make the choice to do porn made her literally “buy” into that look to mesh and blend in with that terribly sad, pitiful, desperate, overcrowded, market of disrespect–but with a child on her hip…was, to me-and her “haters” what made everything so bad. Making a decision to do that is what’s baffling to all. Which too, goes back to my point: that wanting to be famous for teens is a force so strong that, I refused to waste my time to deal with them and I felt like I would only be able to reach mom’s who, themselves, can’t even reach [girls like Farrah].

I understand that at age 22 the idea of mom’ing doesn’t sound too appealing when your peers are on the Internet naked like a baby themselves-posing sexy for likes and attention. And at 22 it’s hard to even fathom the fact of the reality being this one: The same guys she-a teen mom (as was I) are trying to be sexy for, by the majority, are not the kinds of guys for you and your child anymore, anyways. After the child comes, it’s not about just…”you” anymore.

 


 

 

 

No, that doesn’t take away from the fact that if you want to get plastic surgery and do whatever you feel you want to do to feel “beautiful” –the fact that you have a child doesn’t mean you haven’t the right to do that. The only things that having a child at a young age prevents you from doing is–no longer are you free to just make haphazzard decisions about boys and dating and in other areas of your once frivolous life where you could afford to f_ck up. When a child has come into play, even if you ARE a teen–you have to consciously avoid thinking like one in all areas that affect your life and the life of your little one-period. Each and every day, if you don’t fight it-that maturity grows and it all comes naturally. The “teen mom” angst and pangs that we see on shows like VH1’s “Teen Mom” and MTV’s “16 & Pregnant” are from “fighting it.” But all women are equipped with the necessary biological, physiological, physical, mental, emotional tools to nurture.

Being a woman is as sexy as being a mom is as being a woman.

Women are bred to breed. And those who can’t breed, like all women, are born with the biology and physiology to nurture breeding. That makes any woman “beautiful.” But after you have a child, you just have to make conscious choices about just who you’re trying to be “beautiful” for.

The befuddlement and “hate” she’s experiencing most probably comes from the fact that (unlike other girls who are trying to be famous) she had a choice and options that too, would have been lucrative, and too, happened to have been right in line with/matched what she came out the gate as being: a teen mom. She could have changed the perception of “teen mom” in ways UNIMAGINABLE today. But the choice SHE chose makes her nothing but just another one of “them” -but being scrutinized harder because she’s unmarried with a child.  That’s not “hate.” And not everybody is “hating”-that’s REALITY…the real truth of it all.

The moral of the story is: No matter WHAT you wish to be, when you have “options” that still get you the ultimate goal (in Farrah’s case: Famous) and bottom line (the goal to be broke no more); consider the option that best suits you as your own team (of self-respect), or that suits you as a team with your child (in her case: a daughter, a GIRL at that). In the long-run, it’s better for her and the both of them in the greater scheme of things…

Having said all that, I must say this. Typically, as having been a psych major having too, extensive study in the philosophy of psychology; I’m aware and am empathetic (whether fame life or real life) poor decisions of people under 27 years old because the front lobe (responsible for decision making) isn’t fully developed until after then. So I guess in that regard, Farrah’s decision to give herself a physical overhaul along with her choice in what she’s doing to be famous, is not only excused, but too-should be understood (and empathized with) and perhaps she just needs to reconsider her audience and who she’s trying to be famous for.

P.S. For now, visit our side panel’s “Pages” topics. Via the Pages/Topics in caps, I try and put my blog write ups that lead to bigger messages beyond celebritydom there. (This particular write up will be going under “GIRL TALK” ‘s topic. When I update all the topic/pages, I will most probably be moving that whole “Pages” topics panel (located on the left right now) atop our blog for easier selection and viewing. Because although this is an entertainment website, before that, I am a writer with something to say and offer for my readers that they too, can use or consider. That’s important to me first.

Thank you for reading. And happy having learned something (new) via an entertainment blog 🙂 What say you? Don’t be scared.

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Author: OSFMagWriter

Spitfire . Media Maestro . Writing Rhinoceros .