I’m a daddy’s girl of a dad who’s worked since he was 10 years old and for his father ‘til years old and (with the exception of being a Vietnam Vet) never worked for nobody else. My dad spent years instilling his own ambition in me while at the same time adoring me as a masterpiece and seed of his [only girl of all brothers] creation.
The smile that spreads across my dad’s face when he looks at me and grabs the back of my head when he holds me is something that never stops and I can’t explain. But as much as he adored me, one thing my daddy didn’t do was let me rest in my “pretty”-he always demanded substantive excellence three times over that and would turn like Jekyll and Hyde immediately after adoring me and call my name like a drill sergeant: “Angela, what’s going on in your life. What are you doing? What have you accomplished? Working on?…” He wanted answers-as if to make sure I was sailing through life on “pretty.”
My routine Sunday dinner at Red Lobster talks from teen through adulthood is the core of who I am and how I think about ambition and goals-shaped by my dad.
(The word) “dreams” was not in my dad‘s vocab or repertoire. It’s like Nike: “Just Do It.” – You honed in, prepared, and went for it. If I ever dared used the word “dream” he would quickly ask: “but what are you DOING?” Here and there, for other’s comfort, I may ‘say’ it (because it’s comfortable for other people’s understanding and comfort), but for me-it’s not natural to say it. Because the way I was reared, a “dream” is an excuse to lay around and talk about it, think, and literally daydream about something you should be working towards and on.
I’m just a girl reared on putting my ‘pretty’ in the rear/back burner-and all, pure
hustlemuscle. Because of that, I never respected people (men or women) trying to ride waves and seeking to ride in on ways with charm or ‘pretty.’ I work (substantively) and see my ‘pretty’ as a bonus-and last-like the marketing after the product is ready. So (because of how I was raised) that + hearing the word “dreams” so heavily emphasized today, really confuses me. In my world, there’s no “dream,” it’s just a ‘do,’ or ‘don’t’ (or you can’t). Whereas most people (today) emphasize “outworking’ one another-they are often talking about frequency (of speed) and routine. My muscle is substantive, and my hustle is pretty. You cannot ‘outwork’ me at what it is I do. Did you click all these links in this writeup? Do you follow me and my work?
When it came to boys, he basically wanted to preoccupy my life with creative and performing arts schools, taking me to movies for recreation and intelligent debate afterwards to get a feel for my comprehension and all things crowding me with arts and science—that he wanted me to use as metaphors and tools for life.
When it came to boys, my mom, on the other end, was more silent and sought out to block boys from ever becoming my focus. She was one of those moms who dreaded ever having to have “the talk” (about boys). But even without “the talk,” one thing she did say about boys was something that I used all other situations in life when it comes to rules, and how, when, or if you can break them. When she first got wind that I “liked boys” she said one thing to me that I never forgot: “To get to her destination, there are girls who can confidently walk through a crowd of boys shooting crap, and then there are girls who have to walk way around the corner around the guys to get to hers. Make sure you’re always the one who can walk through the crowd of boys, confidently.”
What does this have to do with Donald Trump and what can we all learn?
I always observe (others’ situations) and (for myself) use this as a metaphor reality of life (and all above-mentioned): What’s good for the goose is ‘can’t’ for the gander.
Take for instance,
this recent Donald Trump faux pas. Talk of the week was about how inappropriate it was that he complimented French President Emmanuel Macron’s wife during his visit to France (honoring Bastille Day).
Upon greeting and meeting her, afterwards, he didn’t just say (appropriately): ‘Nice lady. Nice to meet you.” Instead, he (really) said “You know, you’re in such good shape.” He then turned to her husband Emmanuel Macron and repeated it. She graciously moved to hide a little over/closer towards Melania’s side to prepare to strike the pose for the pictures:
An obviously awkward moment as was the awkward thing to say—especially when you’re Donald Trump who doesn’t have the most female-friendly reputation that (by contrast) borders chauvinistic and dogged, even.
In his defense however, I really think he tried to say something complimentary and gracious but when grace (on any level) is not your forte’ and being presidential is a skill that he just doesn’t possess, saying something like that could only go over badly-period.
This was just another one of Trump’s outward attempts to be demonstrative with his physical anthropology-to (perhaps) show that he could be gracious and kind
…as the media and public is never going agree to care to see (or accept) as being
Check out that exchange. Donald wants an ally. Loyalty. And somebody respectable to vouch for him, sooo badly. He wants connection.
In situation like such, sports giant Nike’s slogan “Just Do It,” was trolled by Reebok (in their own literal words) explaining quite the opposite: Just
Do Don’t Do It.
But what’s a critique without a solution? Here’s Reebok’s help for Trump:
In case you were wondering when it IS appropriate to say, "You're in such good shape…beautiful,"… THIS: pic.twitter.com/Z1cnnRD8Ut
— Reebok (@Reebok) July 14, 2017
Down to brass taxes and real sh|t.
So why is it that Trump’s brand of physical anthropology something the country is never going to accept as grace or a kind of apology?
First, in defense of his ‘way,’ let me interject this really quick.
A lot of people today, are sitting on their hands, mouths, hearts, and souls waiting on a payoff for it.
In the meantime, [they’re online] grind-gauging, keyboard killing, miserable, and snapping at the people out here working who are actually working for it, and going for it and with the work to prove it. The latter’s spirits replicate, bind and connect like an incurable herpes cluster. They kill their own spirits, daily-only to wake up the next, log on and break their own spirits all over again. They’re sooooooo laughably mean-spirited and angry at free-spirited types, or who aren’t media puppets. (Thanks?) to social media, regular people have turned into the media puppets that celebrities had to sign on to be by trade. Somewhere in the social media game, (regular people) have they’ve told themselves that a bio and tossing the word “positivity,” is all it takes to make it. Meanwhile, they’re the epitome of negative and wonder why they’re so stagnant and stuck-riding in this thing on hope and chasing a dream of being media puppet enough to be whisped off into a life they ‘dream’ of-for work that they spend no energy producing.
One thing I cannot deal with is a media puppet. Because it’s a shift of the personality that’s not healthy, ultimately. ESPECIALLY if it’s only to obtain something, versus a true interest in changing something (for the personal-positive).
I explained all that to say this: I know it’s not the popular thing to say these days but I DO like the fact that Donald Trump is not a media puppet (per se’–when it comes to what he wants to say). And I DO take in to consideration that’s it’s easy to be fully who you are when you’re have all that you want (versus chasing it). But aside from that, while I (and a few people left in this media-manic world) love (and only trust) someone who’s direct and doesn’t mind telling someone to kiss their ass right where they stand (or sit)
…the problem (with Donald Trump) is: A direct and straightforward person can only be respected as long as his moves match that-as long as he doesn’t have scandals and bones flying out of his or her closet incessantly (that he’s trying to deny and cover up-rather than saying “kiss my a$$”–like any other time! It’s oxymoronic!
Direct is as direct does-not: direct is-indirect doings. You fly straight as you talk fly.
As the ‘stars’ would have it, he’s a sun sign Gemini. Sorry but Gemini’s can’t be trusted-where communicating anything is involved. (Please-if you’re a Gemini-sun sign-don’t be offended, even MY Gemini’s planet-Mercury-is IN Gemini-the planet to which is belongs. But I own my shit, unapologetically and am uninterested in a cleanup (for “show”). I’ll get to it when I get to it. Unless I am contractually committed or handsomeIy compensated, I move in
short trips in compartments. Have you seen where I start writing something and press pause, already? (like here and here)… Why? Because first things first because: literary priority.
Gemini sun people just won’t. They spiral on cleanups and all things communicative and are all over the place in ways that in turn, can end up looking like lies and miscommunication. That being the case, the worst thing Gemini’s can be is a public figure. Lauryn Hill and Prince and were smart. Why do you think Prince stayed a recluse all his life and Lauryn Hill is now-and Kanye has become? They know how they operate! Their communication to the world is
kooky-confusing. They take short trips in thoughts and moves and often move different than they talk (and vice versa). Sure, everybody does that but nobody does that like a Gemini.
But back down to earth, anthropology and politics.
Another reason why Trump’s brand of physical anthropology is something the country is never going to accept as grace or a kind of apology is because, again, he’s a Gemini: There are way too many flip flops where he says one thing but does another. This is just one:
I’m wayyy too busy to pull up his countless others.<–
Lastly, another reason why Trump’s brand of physical anthropology (as grace) is something the country is never going to accept is because he’s incapable of grace and is a proven, walking contradiction, daily. For somebody who hates the media, he’s way too concerned with what the media (and Twitter) thinks-yet, he’s not a media puppet (per se–when it comes to what he wants to say).
Kathy Griffin got read the riot act for her bloody Trump head stunt. One person in particular (Chelsea Clinton) defended him. A few weeks later, Chelsea questions Donald Trump’s decision to let his daughter Ivanka sit in on a G20 Summit meeting and Donald Trump chewed her out on Twitter. Despite the fact that he was wrong, he cared nothing about Chelsea’s empathy for defending him, but cared more about being called out on Twitter-instead of being gracious about it and ignoring her…of all people that said something about it.
Trump will never be gracious because he doesn’t have it in him any more than no one who didn’t come from humble beginnings and worked his way to the top should even BE president—to lead the country by example of what’s possible in America. And by his own doingS, his reputation is ruined (in business and politics).
At this point, about the last thing he can do to redeem any semblance of respectability is to respect himself and the country enough to step down and repair not only his personal reputation, but rebuild respect for his manhood as a man and as a person. He, and it has all gone to sh|t unfortunately, and well…(remember) he cares too much about what people think not to care so, he’s got to start there.
Until then, Donald Trump‘s acts of grace will never be something to which the country keeps in its good graces.