A good TED Talk I came across about something that we can teach our children (and as adults-something we can hone in on and correct, if need be) is the difference in two kinds of mindsets:
- A fixed mindset
- A growth mindset
Whether you know it or not, we (our person, personality, thinking/thought processes) actually tell our minds what to do-which, in turn, tells our bodies what to do (and how to change), our spirits what to feel (and out of our mouths): what to say.
That’s a lot of control. So with that being the case, what is filtered through us (in our bodies, hearts, spirits, minds and mouth); are in direct correlation with what we (via our experience and thinking) tell to our minds.
When we don’t elect to take control of that, and our mind does and the wild-card game begins. That can be dangerous.
The good part about all that is (those of us that are of sound mind), we have the choice take control of our minds all day everyday. And quite frankly: we have to.
That choice of power also gives us (as adults) the choice to be of growth mindset (versus fixed mindset).
With regard to children, fortunately, they have a chance to learn to take control of this early (provided that you-the parent are of ‘growth’ mindset and can teach it to them).
In this TED Talk, Carol Dweck mentions a teacher who (rather than delivering C’s, D’s and F’s), would give the grade: “Not Yet.” That was to set in the young student’s minds that-it’s okay to work harder and better at a task, test or challenge (than to get frustrated, cheat or give up).
You see…a ‘growth’ mindset (adult or child) thinks of failure or even a challenge as the end-all. They process the final answer as “now!” (versus “not yet”).
When you approach failure or a final answer that was challenging as “now” you feel defeated (and look for other ways to build yourself up or fix what you now see as a problem by: cheating, running away, or finding somebody worse off than you to make yourself feel better about yourself and you seek validation-constantly (to compensate-or overcompensate-where you feel challenged or failure because something didn’t go well “now!” You elected not to look at the situation and simply tell yourself: “not yet.”
People of GROWTH MINDSET look at ‘failures’ or challenges as an opportunity to engage in the situation deeper, they are on fire for a resolve and process errors with the intent to