Switch Hitting: Soon Men Can Turn Their Sperm Off With The Flip of A Switch

scrtum and perinuemFor us ladies that love and lust the art of foreplay and [those who enjoy] oral scrotum juggling and perineum parting and play, you might have to share a ball—with the bionics of science (should your man want to flip the switch).

What’s that? You ask?

Well since mid 2015 science has been inching out information that’s sure to give to leave the male vasectomy hanging and give a man’s partner as many miles and pounds of pleasure as his Viagra infused stamina allots: without the interruption of ejaculation.

It’s called the Bimek SLV.

Reportedly, with just the flip of a tiny switch, soon, men will be able to turn on, or off his ability to ejaculate per his discretion.

Via a 1.8cm long switch weighing 2 grams implanted into a man’s scrotum, men can decide when they wish to divert their flow of sperm from the direction of the penis’ head, then out (like normal).

spermTo give you a better visual, that old sperm joke about the sperm out exercising one another and racing to the tip of a man’s penis to be “the one” to procreate has now come to life-where the joke’s punch line screams (to the rest of the sperm):

“Run back guys, run back. It’s only a blow job!”

The same sort of thing is actually going to happen should your man elect to get the implant and manually flip the switch.

Although this sounds cringing and painful, the procedure is far from intrusive. Believe it or not, it’s said that under local anesthetic (awake/numbed), the implantation takes all but 30 minutes!

Developed by German entrepreneur Clemens Bimek, the decision to go half on a baby anymore can be as split second as turning the switch ‘off’ to procreate and turning it ‘on’ to uh…keep going and going and going for as long as you personally or ‘pillfully’ can put out pound for pound.

Obviously one wants to know where the backlog of sperm goes, I know, right?Male impant device

Welp. Just like the old fashioned vasectomy, the man’s sperm would simply be reabsorbed into the body giving a whole new meaning to ‘go fck yourself.’

All jokes aside, let’s kick the other impertinent ballistics here (yes, pun intended).

Be warned that this is not an instant contraceptive as, once the valve is fitted, it takes between 3 and 6 months to dispose of any lingering sperm cells.

After which, when (or if) a man decides he wants children, he can begin so immediately; there’s no 3 to 6 month wait to begin procreation as is the process of implantation.

Although the device is implanted internally, the ‘on’ ‘off’ switch is on your testicles like a piercing. With a rocker switch, the valve is implanted in the sperm ducts and can [this ‘on’/‘off’ switch] can easily be found just