I’m a naturalist.
And I’m a person who naturally thinks about when someone is telling me some method or ‘way’ of doing (or feeling) a thing—if I can match it to nature (especially), or if something naturally gives me a “visual” –that too (in my head) displays a metaphor for your reasoning or thing that you are trying to convince me of-or about a ‘way’ of doing or feeling a thing; then I’m either all for it, with you, accept it (or consider it).
With regard [her] statement: “All females for me, all guys for him. There’s none of that, ‘Oh, that’s my female friend. Oh, that’s my guy friend.’ No, not in a marriage, I’ve never seen that work.”
Immediately…and I do mean immediately…what popped in my head is like: junk food vs. fruits and vegetables, and being sedentary vs. active.
We all know the “end result” of what junk food + a sedentary lifestyle vs. an active lifestyle and fruits and vegetables can be, right?
So…immediately, that’s what popped in my head.
In a personal relationship (marriage or otherwise committed), the key word here is: “relationship”—a personal one.
In a marriage, (in my opinion) it’s not very necessary that either a wife or a husband have a “friend” of the opposite sex [as a ‘friend’]—especially when what you married or committed to, (hopefully) you’ve already built one, anyways. I mean, that’s the goal right? (…in a partnership).
Expecting to be healthy from a sedentary lifestyle and junk food [versus an active one and healthy food] is something we all can vouch for “never seeing work.”
So in that regard, I get that-what’s she’s saying.
For lack of a better word, because
I have “thing-isms” myself that, although I don’t talk about them much, and it doesn’t necessarily come up in general (or even deep/close conversations)—I’m very demonstrative of them.
Like…I have a general rule about “foundations,” “seeds,” and the “beginnings of things.”
And one of my “thing-isms” is this:
Whether or not you believe in God, “in the beginning, God created the heavens and earth,” and whether you believe man made God or God made man, something, somebody, some entity did something in the beginning…And so—here we all are.
What, or who did it-is not the point I’m making.
My point is: “beginnings.”
Beginnings (foundations and seeds) are the creations of the beautiful, blossoming, and sturdy—or the ugly, shaky, weeds.
And in ‘relationship’ (yes-without the ‘s’) there is an energy by which the foundation and seed is planted…which creates relationships (business or personal).
Business or personal, in the beginning of either, I (naturally) feel ‘energy.’ Often times, that’s where my natural naiveté kicks in. I’m very open, sharing, unguarded, reactive, unassuming, and submissive…so as to “allow” the opposite to be in control of our transference of energy.
From that, (personal or business relationship), I determine where we go from there.
And then that’s where my natural “seasoning” and sophistication kicks in…Without incident, I turn totally shrewd-it’s either:
- -fruitful or
- -strictly business at all corners-every turn or
If the beginning energy between us (personally) was good: no ‘weird’ energy, hatefulness, jealousy, mean-spiritedness etc. we can move on and blossom (fruitfully).
To me—whatever becomes of a friendship (or personal or business relationship)…it always stands a chance because it withstood the test of the: “BEGINNING”—the foundation was sturdy and the seed that was planted blossomed grew flowers (versus weeds).
From that, I truly trust you and your sincerity and won’t ever question it unless you give me reason to.
If business (with regard to the opposite—not so good energy); as long as we have 49-51 to lose (and you’re on the 51% and I’m on the 49%) …sure, let’s do business, it’s not personal. We can go to work: only.
You have more to lose.
And as far as my (once) open, sharing, unguarded, reactive, unassuming, and submissive self is concerned, I can trust myself to still treat whatever business we have-rational and most fairly than I believe you can and a better ability to stick to the business at hand. My indifference to things like such can be patented. I’m a master at the art of leaving you to being too busy protecting your 2% over me/my business with you (and still, without incident).
But in personal relationship, there is no “percentage” to consider—it either was, or it was not [built of a solid foundation and good seeds planted between my receiving your energy]. And if it wasn’t…I don’t go back. I don’t reconsider. I’m just not interested, ever, at all.
I’m a natural, natural. I fully understand and totally do not believe our energies were all meant to mesh. We are supposed to be met with certain other energies that don’t mesh with ours in order for us to remain fertile and be fruitful elsewhere. And rather than being bitter or vengeful, you have to be thankful for understanding such forces with the very same grace of meshing well and forging great (personal or business) relationship.
You cannot forge or force energy. You are supposed to let certain energies that fly free of you, or you, it. Forcing an energy is like eating fruit out of season: Ripe and wrong.
So to that I say (about the beginnings and foundations of things-which is where the ‘spirit’ is):
Can a big tall, sturdy, building withstand a weak foundation? No.
Can planted seeds that already grew weeds miraculously turn to flowers and fruit? No.
It’s like what Mary said: “I’ve never seen that work.”
So… there’s one to grow (or go) on regarding those (seemingly) “silly little things.”
Silly little things like Mary’s rule and my ‘people’ rule have a greater-later.
But if you meet things head-on, you have a much better chance of the greater…from the beginning, (and indefinitely).
Begin well. Because all that’s well…begins (and ends up staying well), really.