“Jesus sure did walk. I don’t know about ‘genius’ but Kanye sure is ‘God,’ he turned a ho3 into a housewife.”
…is what I heard. And what I read. And what I scrolled and observed.
I’ll be the first to admit. A few years ago, Kim Kardashian just—sucks my teeth …totally annoyed me. And let me tell you a little something about me. I’m tolerant.
Because as I evolved, when it comes to people, I will take the time to dissect my feeling and thinking for the reason(s) why I feel whatever it is I feel about them-so as to make sure it’s not just me (at the bottom of the hole in dug for them).
I said that to say this: unless someone does or says something to try and hurt me directly (or indirectly), I could pretty much care less about how they choose to be, or behave, and live their life. You’re not on the Flushed Away to Oblivion and Nothingness Sh!t List with me until do, or say something to hurt or disrupt me (for the sole purpose of hurting or disrupting me merely because of how you “feel”–not because I did anything to you). For me, all bets are off (for people like that). Because to step out of how you feel and think about a person and resort to acting on that (strictly from your feelings and thoughts about them), is unacceptable and in the “Book of Angie:” unforgivable.
My personal motto is this: The best apology is the one that did not have to be given because you were tolerant enough and able to control yourself [from doing whatever it was you did-that warranted the apology].
Intolerance is really of form of self-hate, and is derived from envy, being covetous, full of hatred and all other kinds of weak emotions. And those weak emotions that lead to intolerance can affect people’s lives (and livelihoods). I’ve had it happen to me before, so I know full-well what that’s like. So I’m very aware of tolerance versus intolerance (when I feel it from others). So because I know the effects of it, I consciously try and train and teach myself tolerance like a lifestyle-daily. And it works for me because it not only keeps me from purposely hurting others (“just because I feel a way about them”), but it keeps me in my own lane. And while in my own lane, I inadvertently opened a whole new world of “me” that I didn’t even know and that lay dormant (like skills, talents, my person and relearning me-altogether).
I’m human. And although the result of this (daily) “training” makes me tolerant of people, I am very intolerant of intolerant people. I am. I think they need their own peninsula.
I adopted this “tolerant” way because I realized the necessity in the balance needed for things (and people) that we don’t agree with [or like], being just as essential to this universe as those we love and want around. Tolerance is powerful…it’s more powerful than we give it credit for because it’s an exercise in self-control even over mere self-control itself, because we have to exercise having it with other people rather than controlling our selves [from doing something]. So, tolerance is a character strength beyond measure.
I explained all that to say this.
This blog, and what I am going to say about you, me, the world, and Kim K (as my example), is about judgment, our inability to move on/move past, and our unwillingness to deny the fact that even when we see change and evolution going on in other people’s lives [who we are: annoyed by, intolerant of, or who we have a past with, and as well: public figures like Kim K-for example] we stay stuck and fixed in our judgment and opinions so much so, that if you stopped and re-evaluated the goings on, moving ons, moving ups, and going forwards;’ you will find that it is you-who’s the problem (and stuck). Sometimes, in the middle of being caught in the abyss of our scorn and judgment of other people, their past, or our past with them, sometimes we have to stop and take inventory: pay attention to the movement of a person evolving past what you last knew or experienced of, or with them (to avoid remaining stuck without even realizing it)…
So at any rate.
For me, at one time for years, it was hard to understand somebody like Kim K. Because she was all over the place “for nothing.” It was annoying as hell that it was obvious that she just wanted to “be there”-(wherever “there” was).
When I would turn on my television, it would be something about this Kim K that irked me to high heaven. I couldn’t tell if it was my confusion in her being a brunette with [the stereotyped] “dumb blonde” ways or if it was for the annoying fact that everywhere I turned, it was like she had to be where my eyes where at! She had no order, or connected dots. It was like she was that human, walking “Where’s Waldo” figure you’d point out and go: “thereeeeeeeeeeeee she goes: again!”
So imagine my horror when (during President Obama’s first term) she showed up at some ball or dinner her had. I was floored! I sat there like: “I understand the whole famous for being famous thing, but has she any limit to what she would do and where she would go? Or is she that insistent on being anywhere where anybody would have her?”
I felt somewhat justified in my intolerance and annoyance. Because (in my mind at the time) considering what she would do [the sex tape] and too, considering how far she would go [the President’s ball] which, in my mind and never hearing her ever speak of any political agenda; was proof positive that what I felt should indeed be justified: Finally! I was allowed to have that conscious does of intolerance for another human being that I had consciously starved myself of all these years [of having evolved].
Cue the choir hymnal and beam this angel up to heaven music
But then I saw the light. Well… Her light [one day].
While watching television, I happened to flip to a station where she (and sisters) were being interviewed way back when they were tweens, maybe—wayyy before there was ever a Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and YouTube or platforms that enabled you to be famous for merely being famous. Even back then, Kim K said these words: “I just want to be famous. I-I- just want to be famous.”
My brows turned inward and this time, instead of wiggling my head really fast and spewing my usual: “Oh Gauuuuuuuud” (at the sight of her)—this time, I said: “awwww, how sweet. Bless her heart.”
She got cool points of understanding with me when I saw that because, I’ll be honest about something…(and as you continue to read my pop culture blogs you will learn a lot about my secret blunt truths-that hopefully, you too, can be tolerant of and learn to understand)—you know…just like how I’m explaining to you how my disdain for Kim K, bit by bit, turned to understanding, [to shortly, the bigger picture I want all you reading this] to see (by using her as my example to make my point about refusing to accept and acknowledge changes in people when it is evident and clear that they are changing, or evolving, or moving on. And at some point, they need to be released from the scorn or ridicule of our mind’s jail that we insist on putting them in-all the while, refusing to acknowledge that there is a motion going on in which, a past is a past…And as we see this movement (and evolving) we too, have to get past it-and live and let live (but we’ll get to that-it’s the moral of the story of this blog).
At any rate.
In the “Book of Angie” I have a theory. Well…A ‘Threshold of Understanding’ point at which I will ‘accept’ someone merely: “just want[ing] to be famous.” And this is that blunt theory of mine…(remember, if you already read my “About this Blog” description atop this blog, you first, that if I personally feel something, I won’t push it off as a generalization, I will own it. And I am owning what it is I am about to say because again, be reminded that this blog is strictly about pop[ular] culture, objective truth, and honest discourse-and something we can learn through public figures by bringing a humanness to the strife that we typically read on blogs. And that’s what we’re doing here. So take it or leave it, but respect my honesty okay?).
[Here we go].
That blunt theory of mine is this:
Anybody who merely “wanted to be famous” (whether for their talents, or for merely wanting to be famous just to be “Famous”), as long as they have footprints and a paper trail that reached as far back as early YouTube and MySpace days (or even beyond that), they all get a pass a with me. But since (after) the invention of sites like Facebook and Twitter and such, if as a result of [sites like such] they just got a leash on “wanting to be ‘Famous’ for merely being famous” (or even through a talent), they’re “suspect,” (to me).
HOWEVER, I do give credence to the fact that sometimes, and for some people validation is necessary for inspiration. And I do consider that for some people, they didn’t “come to life”-their light didn’t come on until they found out they could plug in, log on, get people to look at them (even if just a follower or friend count served as the pacifier).
Understand my thinking (and side) and well—if you have a side, I have a comment box and we’ll discuss.
But understand my side (and thinking).
I’m one of those people from the early YouTube and Myspace days and beyond who (with talent) did grass roots hustle and grinding. And for those of us like that, we didn’t have outlets for “validation” (or needed it-outside of the friends and families who supported us). Our validation and strength [unlike today’s need for praise in order to get inspired], was something we had to do for ourselves in the name of “work hard” and “work for it.” Simple as that. We felt strong, and courageous and brave, and inspired by that. And for us, true talent would dance in the dark. We didn’t run around chasing thumbs, heart-shaped buttons, numbers to beg or buy for show, or show ourselves in any other light outside of the talent or skills we had to offer. We earned and commanded an audience.
The line in the movie/television show “Fame:” “You Want Fame, Well Fame Costs. And Right Here Is Where You Start Paying: In Sweat.”
That was real…
You had to work to be famous.
You had to really have talent to be famous (or “want to be famous”).
When this New World Order and definition of “success” opened up, all of a sudden, being ‘Famous’ for being famous is what made you a “success.” And “being successful” for being famous (now) means you are just as a “success” as someone who worked for it, has a paper trail and the talent(s) to prove it. And (now) to be successful, all you have to do is be willing to do nothing for something and voila! you‘re ‘Famous’ for being famous—bypassing the hard work/talent portion of it and that somehow makes you successful? When that New World Order rule was happening, I began to notice that a whole sleuth of people like Kim K. started plugging in the world began to change. Very strong senses of entitlement began multiplying with the speed of rabbits reproducing.
The blatant disregard and disrespect of [people like the Kim K’s who just “wanted to be famous”] had for hard work, true grind, and talent was unbelievable. And in my eyes, Kim K. was the poster-child for these types of people. I was (and still am) amazed at how entitled these types of people felt (and feel) without any iota of footprint proof of grind or talent other than doing whatever’s called for in order “to be famous” [to back up their senses of entitlement that they have]. That, to me, is being arrogant over a person being arrogant who is talented. At least they’d have a reason to be and here on will, versus the latter being here on [a] way being invented for the masses. My humbling reminder and mantra: Humble yourself down to the root of why, and what you are-where you are. Whether by will, or by way, either way-it will humble you.
In that regard, Kim K. got two passes with me:
1) I saw her state that she “wanted to be famous” years before online sites gave people platforms that created this sense of entitlement and opportunity to be “ ‘Famous’ for being famous.” So to me, in my sensible eyes-regarding that, she already had a plan. And as far as my judgment is concerned (especially since she stated it before “wanting to be famous” became a trend), she had every right to have a plan on simply being famous, just as the next person with talent may “want to be [famous].”
2) She didn’t come off as “entitled” to me (so to me, that says she knew her lane and simply had that plan: To be “famous” period. And she executed it well). And without running around here feeling entitled I might add…
So in getting to the source and bottom of why I was once so annoyed by her, I took the time to dig into the psychology of my own psychology, and while doing so I was amazed at how my disdain for her melted like ice (as I watched her EVOLVE). I actually began to adore her (like she wanted the world to do).
No longer could I hang on to the vines of excuses that she annoyed me because she bopped around like some “Where’s Waldo” character with no aim or reason. Remember: I was forced to remember and admit that I heard it from her own mouth that she simply “wanted to be famous” (so she did have a “reason” to be wherever “there” was).
And with that, no longer could I hang on to being annoyed by her for being the poster child and catalyst that inadvertently lead this new wave of “wanting to be famous [for being famous]” hopefuls to the frontline of oblivion and senses of entitlement–because even I had to admit to myself that I never (ever) recalled hearing of her behaving like she was entitled (unlike “them”). She merely executed a plan [that was a dream way before the New World way to opportunity even opened its doors].
Then finally she did something unexpected, solid and real: She birthed a baby from her body-proudly-no question or doubts about it.
So no longer could I join the world in unison with countless jokes about her past and the reel that catapulted her dreams of “being famous” made real. She made her dream happen and [many years] since then, is now doing something [real and solid as real gets]. This wasn’t a press release to inform the world of an attitude change. Her once whimsical-like steps she made turned substantial, no doubt about it.
As I put guns away and took my red dot off her head, it amazed me that even through making moves that lead her to doing something so solid and real, she still remained under the world’s radar as the same girl that she was by what originally made her “famous.”
I for one, thoroughly believe that in the hoopla and circus-like portions of the world of wanting to be famous simply for being famous, you do have to be very careful about what you come out the gate being famous for, because the world will fight you tooth and nail whenever you decide to turn over a new leaf or revamp your image (I talk more about that in my Bethenny and Omarosa blog next up). But regardless what the world collectively feels, as an individual-a human being, sometimes you have to take the time out and re-evaluate the labels and stigmas we place on other people simply because we refuse to evolve-and especially when growth and movement (upward, onward, or forward) is taking place right in our faces.
Whether it is a public figure with a past, or whether it’s someone from our private life with a past, or that we had a past with, a relationship with, a rapport with, or a friendship with–as you turn on your television (or watch them online daily)…when we can visibly see that there is movement upward, onward, and forward happening; at some point, we have to let go of what we remember them for [or in our private life: how they last left you].
In our private lives, you do not have a right to feel a way and speak about, or on someone whom you’ve had no rapport with in 1,5,7,10 years and speak of them present tense-misrepresenting them. Bow out gracefully and cop to the simple truth: that you haven’t so much as looked them in the face or talked to them in X-Y-Z amount of time (especially when you have all the answers as to why) and even if you don’t, that doesn’t give you the right to insist and be in denial about the fact that evolution, change, and movement upward, onward or forward is still happening (right in front of your face).
Public people’s lives, or in own lives; we can’t stick people simply because we remain simple and stuck.
We can’t deny change in people who are making changes right in front of our eyes simply because it feels better to us to stick ‘em up.
Re-evaluate your thoughts and reasons for the things you hang on to, or refuse to let go of. Chances are, if you pay attention to the movement onward, upward, or forward; they most probably cancel out any excuse, or reason you keep giving yourself to hang on to and not let go of what you don’t even realize has changed, or evolved (that you are denial about and stubbornly refusing to acknowledge as being so) therefore, should no longer have a place under your scorn, ridicule, disdain, radar, or gun.
So Kanye didn’t “turn a ho3 into a housewife.” As you can clearly see, time is moving on, and he is simply making his child’s mother-his “wife.”
And so I say, I put my guns down on such things and as well, on the likes of people like Kim K. (and well, so should you).