Here’sssss JOHNNY! The Late, Late-Night Talk Show Host JOHNNY CARSON Reportedly Has A Sex Tape Coming to a DVD Near You

Well..er..ruh..um..

*perplexed face*

*turns face to the left-brows frowned*

*turns face to the right-brows frowned*

images (27) I’m guessing I can prepare myself for watching a fogie in his private moments doing the do with a woman: serving up slow, stiff, straight strokes the whole entire time with no particular rhythm-and his being aroused and saying words like: “snickerdoodle,” “honeypot,” “lovemuffin,” “buttocks,” “bottom,” and other corny sexual verbiage—complete with laughs, giggles and other 3-second delay type of sexual play (unlike the kind of passion and I’m used to uh…“seeing..”)

Yeah. I… I think I can be here for an unusual pornographic experience like such that’s sure to stunt my growth and interrupt my head fantasies many-a-nights alone.

images (26) Word is out that Johnny Carson (late night talk show king and host the 70’s era talk show: “Late Night with Johnny Carson”) even has sex tape floating around Tinseltown of he and one of his four wives who, according to our sources; is shopping the tape around to private owners [as, legal issues may arise which prohibits the owner of the tape from selling it to an adult film company].

Talk about [an] ex…tortionist…in September last year, the owner attempted to sell the tape to the Carson estate but was threatened with a lawsuit (obviously).

Our sources report that the tape apparently features two scenes: one in the pool and one in the bedroom but offered to spare us the “gory details” [which I’m more than sure includes stiff kissing standing in the center of the pool rather than a hot pool scene with passionate aggressive sex complete with hair being grabbed from behind and dipped in the pool a couple times having lead to some bedroom edge-of-the-bed action we’d all love to see old late night Johnny entertain us with].

So don’t get your hopes up too high, it aint gonna go down like that I’m sure. But hey-it just may (if you care). No one said how old he was in the tape.

*shoulder shrug*

Source: Wonderwall