BUILDING in), they just up walk away and seem heartless, leaving women clueless-even after a 10 year “relationship.”
MAJOR GEM:
Considering that, women have to be VERY careful on what a man is doing in her life. What role he’s playing. (If he lives with her) what’s his contribution to the home? Is it escalating? Is he initiating solidarity leading to contracts and other solid things or is he merely helping to pay his way? Like I said: Men are like that Mario Brothers Donkey Kong game: When they are at an emotional point with a woman and really want her in his life, they are very concentrated on ascension. They become obsessed with it like a “dad” on a sunny Saturday outside doing odd repairs.
That said, if a man is riding the waves with you (even for years), be afraid, because men LOVE to:
- Initiate
- Delegate
- Plan
- Build
- Ascend
And when they are in love/love you + want you for their life the takeover begins. He begins working those bullet points (even if it is YOU that’s got more than him).
THE HARD PART:
How long you give a man the chance to do that is all up to you. Only you know the temperature of your ‘relationship.’ For me (or anybody) to try and tell you how long you should give a man to build with you is like trying to tell you how long you should give him to ask to marry you. That’s YOUR business and your heart and life’s timeline.
Remember: Teaming up to equally pay bills aint shit. Teaming up to build/solidarity (ascend) is.
When a man is ready to build-you just better hope it’s with you. And hopefully you didn’t allow him to waste too much of your time and he finds somebody to build with elsewhere. Men are PRIMA DONAS. I can’t express that enough. And they are computing every thing you do (along with their other tiers and possibilities) to decide if YOU are “the one,” (hence why it is not good to date/get into serious relationships without having your shit together. That’s another blog, though).
How Do I Make Him Love Me? Where Did I Go Wrong?
Firstly, he has to be interested in you-FIRST.
Men have options out here, even more than they did ten years ago and they are less likely to settle today (than they did ten years ago).
That said, everything that you don have from the fact that you are his choice and not his option–because he’s bored, lonely, on break from ole girl, or broke and down on his luck.
(SIDENOTE: Regarding that-which too, is another blog). No man is his full self when he is broke. He will tell you anything broke. Although a man who’s not broke will too, a man who is broke is not only surviving life, but too surviving in the relationship for SURE. It’s already a fine line and trick at how men can survive a relationship with a woman for years, but twice as flat out the risk when he is not at least on his way to ‘it.’ Society is NOT kind to these types of men. That being the case, who he is broke is really not “him.”
Truthfully who anybody is broke is not really their full selves (but, because of society’s demands): men suffer harder in this state of being. As a king goes, so goes his world (I heard that even the bible tells you that)…. If you are in his world then…come what may, ma’am. Have at it.
A broke man trying to ‘relationship’ a) has got his priorities out of order anyway, period (unless you are of financial benefit to
Spitfire .
Media Maestro .
Writing Rhinoceros .
